“Listen, Drew, I don’t love you. What we have is superficial and completely finite.” I turned away from him harshly. His face was contorted in pain. I hated to see him this way. Our friendship was always my lifeline, ruining something so special with a relationship would be setting the both of us up for failure.

Drew raked his hand through his messy brown hair as he slightly paced the small room. “I really don’t think you get it, Asia. I can’t go a minute without the sound of your laughter filling my ears and your voice and attitude consuming my entire being.”

I wish he could listen to himself and see what he looks like from my point of view. He’s vulnerable and frail for the first time I’ve known him and it breaks me a little to hear the hurt in his voice. I’m probably looking at him with the most confused look on my face because he looks away and won’t meet my eyes again.

Drew and I were raised in a combat lifestyle. Our parents were best friends ever since they became partners in the Chicago pricinct. They raised us to know how to physically fight and stand up for what we believed in. Drew was doing just that, but so was I. Of course, years have passed and Drew and I eventually became partners in the same pricinct our parents met at. His mother and my mother never left one another’s side inside and outside their police department. That’s how it was for Drew and I.

My head ached and I couldn’t tell if it was from the professionally tight bun or the amount of thoughts running through my mind. My shift ended twelve minutes ago meaning Drew’s did as well. Removing the hairband, my long blonde hair fell in an unruly manner to shape my face.

Instead of responding to Drew’s last comment, I walked out of the double doors and to our shared patrol car with Drew tailing behind me. “Drive me home,” was all I said as I angrily slammed the car door.

I stared into the side mirror and watched him huff before walking around to the driver’s side.

Drew sat in silence a while before starting the engine.

When he began talking, I tried to force myself to concentrate. Memories of the past few weeks kept circulating and replaying like pure torture. Just a few weeks prior, I had lost a fight to two men who were found guilty being involved in a drug deal. It was my partner and I’s job to take them into custody for questioning. Drew had accidentally followed a false lead into an alley while I took the longer route to cut the two men off from behind. Instead of them being where we had presumed, the men actually found a way behind me and left a message for my partner and precinct. I was the message. Drew’s mistake landed me in the hospital and despite me not blaming him for the mistake at all, he still beat himself up about it. He was at my bedside when I woke up the morning after the incident. He apologized, kissed my forehead, and in the heat of the moment one thing led to another. The days following, even after I was released, we continued the fling in private. My apartment. His house. Over and over. I never thought it would come to bite me in the ass so hard, but then again I don’t think I was ever really thinking.

“Asia, are you even listening?” Drew’s voice held some bite to it.

“Look, if you’re bitching about unrequited feelings again, don’t expect my answer to change.”

He clicked his tongue and shook his head. The rest of the ride was quiet.

Pulling into my apartment, Drew parked the car and refused to even look at me as I gathered my things and opened the door. His phone rang and he answered it immediately, not wanting to acknowledge my departure. I closed the car door and began walking in the direction of my humble abode, ready to be alone for a while, but Drew’s voice rang out from behind me.

“Asia, they caught one of them!” I immediately knew that one of the men who assaulted me was who he was referring to.

I turned to face him and asked, “Only one?”

He slightly shrugged obviously annoyed but slightly relieved. “Don’t worry, we’ll get the other one soon. I promise.” He looked up at me then back down at his phone. I could tell that the images of my injured and lifeless body were coming back to him in that moment. I didn’t want to stand there any longer.

I softly smiled at him, “Don’t sweat it, partner, I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, I turned on my heel and entered my apartment.

I let out a long sigh as I dropped my belongings onto the floor. I closed the door behind me and behind it, was the other man that had not been captured. I stared straight into the barrel of his gun and barely had the time to let out a scream before he fired.