“You promised, and you lied. I’m waiting at the bench, hoping you will come back. Do you remember…that day? I’ve never thought my hair was special. It was dark brown, the most common hair color they’re is. Or how my hair is wavy, and curly at the same time… I didn’t like it. Not at first. Not until _you_ pointed out how beautiful my curls were, like small tornados, your humor was _stupid_…but_ I _loved it, or how beautiful my hair was in the sun, because it showed my natural highlights. I’ve never thought of it as special until_ you_ pointed it out. I didn’t like my hazel eyes, because they were the second most common eye color. Not until you told me that my eyes were _The color of the dirt that brought nature alive, _I never thought it was special…not until _you_ pointed it out. I’ve always wished my hair was blonde, because blond girls could get anything they wanted. I wished I had blue or green eyes, because they were special. Blue like the ocean, green like nature, but not until _you_ pointed out everything I hated, you made it feel special…

Do you remember last December…When we sat on the bench and looked at the night sky? December didn’t feel special, it was just a cold season, just snow. Not until you held my hand, your fingers interlocked with mine, I could feel the warmth your hand conveyed and spread through mine. It reminded me of summer. I _hated_ summer, the heat was terrible, unbearable, and those annoying mosquitoes, but summer turned into my favorite season. It wasn’t about the heat anymore or those stupid mosquitoes but it reminded me of your warmth, but instead in my hand, it was all over my body.

Do you remember last spring…When It would rain non-stop, and I would always forget my umbrella? The truth was I never forgot, not until that day I did. You shared your umbrella with me, I didn’t think it was special, not until everything froze in place, the rain disappeared…and I felt as you and me were the only ones right there and then…Since that day I would lie about forgetting my umbrella, I loved your chuckle, your smile, or when you called me forgetful. Then it was special, and spring was also my favorite season. I hated spring, I hated the rain, the smell of the aftermath the rain created, but not until I shared your umbrella with you, It was as special as that moment.

There are so many things I’ve wanted to tell you…but I couldn’t. I know I was an asshole, but It wasn’t on purpose, I was never shown how to love the right way, I only showed it the only way I knew how, and I’m sorry. I’ve thought about it quite a lot. You didn’t break your promise to always stay with me…I broke it. I pushed you away, because I didn’t know how to love. I didn’t know how to talk to you with the love and sympathy that you always have shown me, I didn’t know what to give you on your birthday, even though somehow you always knew what I desired most. I didn’t know how to touch you. I never did because I was scared to hurt you, but you touched me without being afraid, and I enjoyed the way you touched me in small gestures…All I want to say is…I’m sorry, for not knowing how to love you the right way…