I grabbed the glass of wine and slowly sipped on the wine as I scanned the room. The room was beginning to fill with A listers, Hollywood glamour, I heard the murmur over the soft music playing in the background. Some were looking for their seats, others made small talk, some even took pictures, many complimented each other for looking fabulous. He did most of the socializing . He occasionally would look my way and ask “you ok?” I was avoiding talk. He knew I wish to be home. I occasionally raised my glass from afar as a form as salutation when someone locked eyes with me . As I put my glass down I admired my manicure and my jewelry. I looked down at my lap and saw the glimmer of my dress I grinned because I felt like a million bucks then I thought that’s because u r just that and more.

Earlier today I did not think I would make it here. Lately all of this had become too much. When I arrived the staff was waiting for me to get ready for the night. I love the glamour it was all I had dreamed about, he made it, I made it, I had made it to the Grammys he had a great year in film. This was a big night for my career. I was living all I have ever wanted. Ironically all I ever wanted was to be seen was to be known was to be heard to always have. Here I am with just that, but now I wished to be left alone, to let me be, wished to be unseen so I can live in privacy. I missed the little things. Since the scandal , our life’s were plastered everywhere our business was for everyone to know. Taking the train to this dream was always where I wanted to be. I was not so sure of that lately.

I found myself getting on the train to back to the simple life, the everyday life. The life that made dream, made me want. The simple life makes me feel present, cherished, seen by those that matter, my marriage was still intact, our house was simple and yet a luxury. We had hopes and dreams, the kids, we were always with the kids, movie nights, supermarket runs with no one taking our picture. I now feel that this life is my dream life. I was so in twined in both lives I no longer knew which one was my original dream.