From the moment i was put into this world (literally, i’m fictional) i knew it was wrong. Everything was so crowded, the world so divded, even for me it seemed excessive.

I was the ruler of a kingdom i have since learned is fictional in this world, and i have come to realize i was a rather bad one. However i do not believe i was nearly as bad as the scum of this world.

In my kingdom, i graciously allowed MOST people (even the ones i don’t particularly like) to exist, if only to show how foolish they are.

By far the worst thing the people of this world use though, are _sporks. _I don’t believe any civilized person in their right mind could combine a spoon and fork! And what’s worse, they made a movie about this infernal creation! A movie about sentient toys, and their idea of a _good character_ is a _spork_! I have no clue how a society advanced enough to have moving pictures could ever, EVER, create _sporks._

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Other parts of this society i can understand, but i truly believe sporks will be their complete undoing_._