I walked down the street staring at my grey boots , the grey soil and the puddles of water from the earlier rain, my hands stuffed in my pockets and my chest heavy , just a typical day in Carsonville. I’m on my way to the shop to pick out some clothes, since the world is literally grey all I need to look for is size and pattern . (Since the world is depressed and sad no one has ever experienced happiness, and happiness is considered a myth . Since you can’t miss what you don’t know , no one complains about it or acts all broken like usual) after shopping I head down to the café, I sat in my corner sipping my latte (times seems to slip now and then or it even slows down that’s why the story has gaps) the door chimes , I looked up from my computer where I was writing an essay on the suicide rate and how it so abnormally low and stays the same (one of the greatest mysteries in the world) a girl with the biggest smile stepped in , she had wild flowers in her hair , a flowing yellow dress and sneakers, her hazel nut eyes were warm and her blond her glistening. She ordered , it seemed to take forever. The café was jam packed and my table was the only one open . She sat down , her hair seemed to flow in the air conditioning. My heart felt warm , I gripped at my chest and I had the urge to wrench my jaw and lips into an alien position, a smile... what is this feeling? Is it love? But that’s just a myth too! You can’t achieve love without happiness can you ? Yes.. yes you can... but this isn’t love , this IS happiness, the glow surrounding her, they way a single word she says can sound like a million angles blessing us with a heavenly harmony. “Hello” , a simple word used every day , it has never made me feel this way . I stared at her for what seemed like forever, eventually she stood up and walked away. The sudden rush of despair keeps upon me , like drug withdrawal, I couldn’t bare it, not for one second, not even to take a breath , I needed to be around her again , I needed her presence, I couldn’t find her , adrenaline coursing through my veins , tears in my eyes, soaking the hem of my shirt , I fell to the floor , my knees skinned , I reached into my purse , I found my switch blade that I used for protection...and ended it right there on the sidewalk... who knew that even the slightest exposure to happiness in a world as depressing as this can cause you to kill yourself . So try to make the best of things, o r the next time you feel happinesses withdrawal, you’ll make your decision, and I hope it’s to live ...