Bernard: hello old friend.

Princess Sparkles: Oh hello, nice to see you. How’s life been treating you?

Bernard: same old, same old. And you?

Princess Sparkles: nothing much. Nothing exciting happens to us dogs when we’re this age.

Bernard: ain’t that the truth! Sometimes I wish I was more like them humans, living out my life like there ain’t no tomorrow. Alas, Karla needs me, and what could I do without her? Humans can’t understand me, and I got no money. *sigh*

Princess Sparkles: *snorts* I can’t believe they’re still so clueless. Thinking we’re all idiots or something. What happened to being the smartest race? We’ve been living with them for ages, yet they have trouble understanding even the simplest bark or wag of the tail . But us? We’ve known their language since the beginning of “man’s best friend” and would be speaking it with the best of them if not for our incapable bodies. Sometimes it’s just so frustrating. Sorry, Bernard, I didn’t mean to rant like that, I guess I’m just tired. Haven’t been able to get enough sleep since the new pups.

Bernard: naw, it’s fine, it’s good to get your emotions out every once in a while. How are the pups, by the way? Not giving you too much trouble, I hope?

Princess Sparkles: (wryly) crazy. And rowdy. And destructive. Ace has already chewed through three good shots, the little stinker. And Cheeto is always zipping around the house, he shattered Mia’s good vase today.

Bernard: (interrupting) uh-oh! The nice one from aunt Janet? Mia loves that one! I think it’s kinda ugly, though.

Princess Sparkles: *glares at Bernard* yes, that one. He got a big timeout, and we both gave him a talk, but I’m not sure hope much good that’ll do. Charlotte’s the best of the bunch. Never getting into trouble, that one. But I’m kinda worried about her, truth be told. She gets scared easily, and the kids frighten her. Often I’ll find her curled up behind the sofa, hiding from all the noise and chaos. But for the most part, the pups are happy, the kids are happy, and usually, so are the parents.

Bernard: poor little Charlie. Want me to talk to her on Saturday when Me and Kayla come over for dinner?

Princess Sparkles: (gives a little start)

Oh! I’d forgotten about that. Yes, if it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle. You and Charlie are just so close. She’s lucky to have a mutt like you around.

Bernard: no problem. Oh, before I forget, I have a new wires for Charlie: ultracrepidarian. It means someone who who gives opinions on topics they know nothing about.

Princess Sparkles: oh, that’s a hard one! She’ll like that! Oh, Henry’s calling for me, bye!