I see it all
The gentle flickering of life
A smile on a passing stranger
A tree swayed with finite winds
I see it all
The air wrapping around my chest
Moving with my own breath
Cooling my skin
I see it all
Earths violent spin
The void when I look up
The connection we share
I see it all
I like “gentle flickering of life” — a “gentle” phrase. I also like”a tree swayed with finite winds” and its placement in the poem: a phrase enacting the gentleness of the poem. I like “the air wrapping around my chest moving with my own breath, a good synergistic image. “Earth’s violent spin” — a unique image. I think “I see it all” is a good ending, but you may want to think about not using the phrase twice. “Void” also works well with “I see”. I also like that you use “void” in a poem about identity. It’s contradictory, paradoxical, confounding. That technique is not easy to do, but you pull it off here.
