Since the beginning, I’ve put on a mask,

it’s not smiles, laughs, but calm. Collected.

A face that lies and says that I’m okay,

But what happens if I remove the mask.

Without it I’m cold. Distant. Uncaring.

I either love too deeply, or can’t love.

A brick wall goes up. High. Strong. Unyielding.

Deep down, I hide. I don’t deserve their love.

I almost want my life to be painful.

I want to hurt, scream, suffer… but i don’t,

not on the outside, where people can see. Something broke, inside of me, years ago.

The shattered glass inside me cuts all near.

I’m tired of hurting those around me;

I’m tired of feeling empty, in pain;

I’m tired of my monotonous life.