Undone By Killian Moore We could see the glow of the bonfire from the parking lot. Mia had talked me into coming by being relentless. She’d texted me all day that we could just stay for a few minutes, she would drive, there would be drinks, everyone was going to be there, wouldn’t it be nice to see everyone, and on and on. She had always been the social counterpart to my introversion. She jumped out practically vibrating with anticipation. The smell of the smoke drifted up to us and became stronger as we crested the sand bank. She grabbed my hand pulling me forward skipping down the stairs. I laughed nearly tripping along behind her. We hit the sand and she let go, “I’m gonna go find some people, but don’t be such a wall flower. We’re outside, there’s no walls okay?” She ran off, gone around the far side of the bonfire before I could ask her to wait. Walking through the groups of my old peers, a lot of people waved or smiled, but there was no one I felt like I needed to catch up with. I kept an eye out for Mia but she was probably moving faster than I could look for her. I turned towards the parking lot thinking I’d sit on the steps that led up the sand bank, but I froze. Zane stood with his friends laughing about something I couldn’t hear. Mia had said everyone would be here, but I guess I didn’t realize she really meant it. I stared at him, he was stronger than the last I’d seen him. He’d gotten a scholarship for hockey to NC State and clearly their fitness regiment was a step up. My stomach exploded with butterflies and I cursed myself for it. More than a year had passed of me putting distance between myself and what happened and I still reacted this way to seeing him. I’d blocked him on everything and even blocked his friends. I had completely separated myself from him and had been telling myself I was over it, but— He looked up and my heart stopped. When he smiled at me I panicked and turned away walking towards the water. I stepped out of my flip flops letting the water brush the tips of my toes. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and held it breathing out slowly through my nose, but I could feel him approaching. “Hey, I didn’t think you’d be here…” I scoffed crossing my arms over my chest and turning towards him. “I wasn’t planning on it but, Mia made me.” “Mia? You’re still friends with her?” He looked disgusted. “Yes I’m still friends with my best friend who you tried to take advantage of and cheat on me with on the night of graduation.” “That’s not what happened.” He stepped towards me so I stepped back not wanting him any closer than he already was. “It’s not? That’s sure as hell what it looked like that night.” I watched the muscle in his jaw flex and he shoved his hands in his pockets. “That’s what you’ve believed this whole time? You think I would do that?” I blinked staring at him, he sounded sincere, but I know what I saw. “You were on top of her in my bedroom holding her hands down above her head! Mia slept at my place that night and didn’t remember a thing the next morning.” “Jazz, that was the only way I could get her to keep her hands off me.” I cringed at the sound of my old nickname, “she was barely conscious Zane.” “Yeah cause the alcohol was finally getting to her. I swear I never did anything or wanted to do anything other than make her leave me alone.” I took a deep breath tasting the salt in the air and hearing a wave crash behind me. I let it ground me. “Why would she be hitting on you? We were dating and she’s my best friend.” “She had always hit on me. That’s why I never wanted to go anywhere that she would be. I didn’t want to ruin your friendship with her, but I didn’t want to give her any opportunities either.” I watched his blue eyes looking for a lie or an exaggeration, but Zane had never lied to me and that didn’t seem different now. He looked at ease but serious, standing straight and his sandy hair messed by the wind. Mia walked up looking tense and concerned. “Hey what’s going on?” Zane turned to her, “You fucking bitch, you never told her the truth?” She crossed her arms over her chest looking defensive, her green eyes refusing to meet his or mine. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but Jasmine probably doesn’t want to be talking to you.” I stepped towards her making her look at me, “Did you have a thing for Zane when I was with him.” She rolled her eyes and took a step back giving herself space. “I would never do that to you Jazz.” I stared at her, but she looked back at Zane and then towards the group of people nearest who had begun glancing in our direction. The realization that she was lying made a physical blow, my chest began to ache. “I should have seen it…” I turned walking down the beach but heard Mia behind me yelling at Zane, “why would you go dredging all that up?! It’s ancient history.” “Because she should know the truth.” His voice sounded closer to my back, he was following me. “Jazz let me take you home.” “Leave me alone Zane.” I started running down the beach wanting space, needing it. I didn’t stop until I was sure I was alone.