‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all..

Unless one can keep that dearest love for eternity. No time capsule needed. No memories that will fade.

Each brunette strand plucked from your now cool scalp lay in my rigid fingers. Tangling theirselves with each digit like the night we first made love. A thought passes through my mind and there you are again, nothing but your tanned flesh against mine. The softest duvet cocooning us for that night.

And though you lay breathless in my arms in the present, I know in just one short daybreak you will shelter me with your love once again.

The painful screams shatter my daydream and for a moment I’m angered. But how could I be angry at the one who will give you back to me. The ultimate sacrifice. I should be showering the young girl in her favorite meals and allowing her to live lightheartedly for just a few hours more…so I gently lay your head on the pillow and walk towards the cellar door.

Before I make entrance I try and hide my satisfaction of this young girl’s fate; this seems to put her into a frenzy. I turn the key into the knob and pace myself, noting not to say anything detrimental to the cause..I can’t have her fight. I can’t have her ruin everything, but I must also respect her and show her the gratitude I feel.

The single lightbulb that hung above her seems to have blown and I can only make out her outline from the sliver of sunshine above. I cautiously make my way to her, reaching into my pocket to pull out the deck of cards that I keep on me.

“Care for a game of cribbage?” I say softly, swallowing back my nerves. I’m not a cold hearted person and I couldn’t imagine doing what I am having to do shortly under any other circumstances but here I am, still feeling a twinge of guilt.

“Please…let me go..I want to…” she replies, choking on her exhausted sobs.

“It was a game I used to play when I was your age, my brothers and I. We would steal my father’s pipe and a few beers and hideaway in this very same cellar. He never did notice though. We’d be dead if he did.” I chuckle but her moan of dispair brings me back to reality.

“Maybe he should have caught you..” she spits at me, her words firing straight to my gut. I can’t let her upset me. She is everything and more. She is what shall bring my Marie back, she is the key, the answer. Hold it together I say mentally.

To be continued…