“Hey you”.

“Hey”. He looks a little uncertain. He knows something’s bothering me and he’s not sure what, and it has him nervous. He’s like that - he can read me so easily. We’ve known each other for over a year now and been best friends for six months of that. Surely he must have picked up on what I’m thinking. I mean, he always seems to know without being told when something’s on my mind so surely he’s noticed how I must look at him.

The waiter comes over and we order. As they walk away he looks straight at me.

“Come on, out with it”. He grins a little. “Somethings bothering you, and you know you’re going to tell me”. His cheeky smile is reassuring. I think he knows what’s coming and he’s glad I’m going to be the one to say it first, to break through that awkward cycle of longer and longer eye contact then suddenly turning away that we’ve both been doing lately. The “is he going to finally kiss me this time” moments that never seem to come to fruition.

He’s scared of hurting the friendship, of being “that guy” who can’t be friends with a woman without trying to hit on her. Well this is different. This time the woman is every bit as keen to take it a step further, and it’s time I broke the ice. I just know he would have done it himself by now if he wasn’t such a decent guy.

I huff out a nervous breath.

“Okay.” I start.

“The thing is….” I rise part way of of my seat, lean across the table and kiss him.

He yanks his head back, eyes wide.

“Oh”. “Oh shit”.

Frozen in an awkward half stand, I feel like I’m going to be sick, or pass out, or both.

He doesn’t look relieved. He doesn’t look delighted. He looks like I just told him his dog died.

“Jasmine…I’m so sorry” he finally gasps. “It’s just…”

“No” I say. “No need. In fact, please don’t”.

I grab my bag from the table and turn, tripping awkwardly over the chair in my rush to get away”

Face burning, I run from the cafe.

Well….that didn’t go as planned.