Of course, he had to spill his guts to him. The one person that should not have heard his mistake.

If he didn’t like his life here, he would run away.

How was he going to explain this to Jeremiah? He can’t just go up to him and say, “Oh, you know how I said that my soulmate was a girl that I met today? Well I was wrong and it’s actually you.”

That would sound insane. Truth be told, he does feel a bit crazy now.

“Roman? Are you going to eat with us or stare at the new girl?” Cross suddenly appears right next to Roman.

Thankfully, he isn’t loud with his question.

“Is she your soulmate?” They both turn towards Lou and see her talking to a fox that usually scampers away when lunch outside started.

“No, she isn’t.” His answer is final. Definite.

“How do you know?” If only he was still in blissful ignorance.

“Dude, she’s talking to a fucking fox,” Roman points out, cocking his head towards the interaction.

“Well, did you figure out who?”

“Maybe. But I don’t want to talk about it.”

Cross nods. There is an unwritten, unspoken agreement between them. Cross knows about Roman’s parents and his perspective on soulmates. When neither of them want to talk about soulmates, they tell each other and the other can’t ask why. It is just how they work. He’s glad that Cross never pushes him. Especially now.

“Well let’s invite her to eat with us. Bell met the new guy, Jeremiah, in class, so she invited him over.”

Both of the walk over to the girl who is still engrossed in a conversation with the fox.

“Lou, wanna sit with us?” Roman asks, hoping he’s not interrupting whatever they are saying.

“Hi Roman. Sure,” she grins and looks down to the fox, “Wanna come with?”

The orange creature appears to nod and it follows like a trained dog at her heels. If he wasn’t panicking about the Jeremiah situation, he would be more amazed by her ability.

Once sitting at the table, they all introduce themselves to the new people. Roman hates small talk and icebreakers. They might be his least favorite interactions ever.

How can he focus on what is an interesting fact about himself when Jeremiah is sitting right there?

“So Lou, I assume your power involves animals,” Marta comments, eyes dropping to the fox by her feet. “Yes. Animal communication to be exact, so I understand and can speak with animals like Fred here.” She reaches down and pets ‘Fred’.

Roman notices Bell giving Cross a look after hearing that. He gives her one back like they are having a silent conversation. He stopped trying to understand them. They are just being Bell and Cross.

“What’s your powers Jeremiah? Is it strength? I’m just guessing from how you stopped Bobbi and Jonah this morning,” Cross asks.

Roman’s eyes widen. Once Jeremiah answers, Cross will figure it out. And when Cross knows, Bell does too.

His soulmate should know before his friends do!

“I can manipulate and conjure natural elements, but it is more like a balance. I work with nature. I don’t just bend it to my will. I just didn’t feel the need to use them before.”

Does he know? Is he covering for him?

Everyone continues to talk like everything was normal when everything is not.

OoOoO

“Is your soulmate Jeremiah?” Cross blurts out the moment he and Roman break from the group to go to English class.

Way to give him a heart attack. “How’d you know?!”

Cross looks like he wants to roll his eyes, but he doesn’t. “You kept staring at him. For the first time since we met, your emotions were written on your face. You are terrified.”

“Yes,” Roman breathes out, totally defeated. He couldn’t even keep calm.

“Man, you need to tell him. Like an hour ago,” Cross pushes, which he knows he’s right, but it annoys him.

“I know. It isn’t that easy. If telling hard truths was easy, you would’ve told Bell your feelings by now.”

A hurt look passes over his face. Shit. He knows how insecure Cross is with his feelings for her, always in an emotional limbo. He’s confided in Roman before and now he used it to hurt him. “Cross, I’m sorry. I overstepped. I’m just not used to feeling like this.”

“Like what?” The hurt not completely leaving his eyes, but confusion joining it.

“Confused. Not calm. Overwhelmed! I usually know what’s going to happen. I’m used to others’ emotions, not my own!” Before he knows it, he confesses something that he has buried deep down.

Stopping them in an empty hallway, he knows Cross is about to say something that he deems important. “Roman, we’re cool. It’s fine. But you need to let yourself feel your feelings. Maybe you’ll really like Jeremiah, but you have to let yourself.”

“What if we’re like my parents?” He didn’t realize how much his parents’ divorce affected him until finding his soulmate. Now he’s even more scared to say it out loud. He never confronted that before.

“What if it isn’t? Something I know about you, Roman, is that you are not your parents. You will be an amazing partner/soulmate and give your all.”

Roman can’t help but hug him. His first and longest friend.

“If you tell anyone I hugged you, I will deny it and say you are delusional,” he says, still feeling a bit out of his comfort zone. He needed to add just a touch of his normal attitude.

“Sure, man.”

OoOoO

Taking the bus is always a drag.

Roman hates the people. They are loud and rambunctious. Clearly they get too much sleep. A dignified person would try to rest. Decompress after talking with so many people throughout the school day. Or maybe that’s just him.

He watches the world go by as the bus goes way too fast and stopping too slow. His thoughts racing, thinking about the events of the day.

“Roman! Get off my bus!” Will, the fifty-something year old, bus driver commands.

“Sorry, Will!” Stumbling, he gets down the steps and is now on his street. The bus tires screech as it speeds off.

His house is near a park, and he can already hear kids playing, parents trying to drain all the kids’ bottled up energy from being cooped up in a classroom.

“Miah! Push me!” A high voice yells out.

Even though it wasn’t a name he recognized, something tells Roman to turn. So he does.

It’s Jeremiah.

He’s pushing a young girl, maybe around six, on a swing.

“Miah, do you know that boy? He’s staring,” the little girl asks loudly. She points directly to him.

Roman must look like a deer in headlights. He didn’t realize he had been doing that long enough for someone to notice. Awkwardly waving, he wonders what happens now.

“It’s ok, Este. I know him. You ok if I go talk to my friend?” She nods as she kicks her legs up in an effort to go higher. “Stay in my sight.”

“Hey, Roman!”

“Hi, Jeremiah. Sorry if I freaked your sister out, I didn’t realize it was you at first. I swear I’m not stalking you. I live around here.” He’s not sure what of that he had to say, but it all comes out jumbled anyway. Why is he like this? He legitimately is never like this. All flustered and stuttery.

Jeremiah laughs, not a chuckle, but a real belly laugh. The melodious sound settles something deep within Roman. If he had any doubt before, there is none. Jeremiah is his soulmate, and he is beautiful. “It’s totally fine. I didn’t think you were. I figured you might wanna talk anyway,” Jeremiah manages once he ceases his laughter.

“Talk about what?” Roman doesn’t feel very brave right now. Like Cross said earlier, he feels terrified. He needs Jeremiah to be the one to say it.

“You know, the soulmate thing,” he replies like it is talking about something so casual and mundane. Not something that is literally life changing. Life stopping.

“You knew?” While he suspected he knew, it still confuses him a bit. Like when did he know?

His gaze flits between Roman and Este. “Of course I knew. Well at first I didn’t realize it was you either, but then when we met in the bathroom, I figured it out,” he admits, distractedly.

“So you let me think Lou was my soulmate?”

“Well I guess,” he pauses for a moment, thinking. “What was I supposed to say? Hey I know you think a girl is your soulmate, but there is a good likelihood it’s me.”

Roman wanted to say “yes”, but he would be hypocritical. He was going through a series of similar questions.

Shrugging his shoulders, Jeremiah says, “I didn’t even know if you liked guys or anything. I wasn’t going to blow up your world like that, especially if you wanted it to be her.”

He appears so serious which is strange for his limited knowledge of Jeremiah. There’s this deep want to see him smile again.

“Well I’m bi. So I do like guys.” It was never a secret among his friends, but it still feels vulnerable to reveal it to someone he didn’t know that well.

“Did you?” Jeremiah asks abruptly. Roman ponders on the question, his brain taking longer to catch up. He hopes that isn’t permanent because his brain is kinda the only thing going for him.

“Did I what?”

“Want it to be her?”

Roman pauses. He doesn’t even do it to be mean. Looking within himself, did he get this same internal feeling that he feels for Jeremiah for Lou? That feeling of belonging?

The answer is clear to him.

“No. But I meant what I said. That I’m not the biggest believer of soulmates and their longevity.”

“Do you still think that? Having met yours. Having met me.”

“I don’t know. My beliefs don’t just go out the window, but I do know that I’m scared.”

“Are you scared of us not working out?”

“That and what if we do. I didn’t see a healthy relationship growing up. How do I know that I won’t mess it up? I don’t want you to grow to resent me or stay with me just because we’re soulmates.” There it is. His biggest fear, right in the open for anyone to hear.

Jeremiah has a lot more courage than him. He gently takes one of Roman’s hand, his grip loose enough if Roman wanted to pull away. He doesn’t.

There’s that feeling again. Belonging.

“The fact that you’re worrying about it means you care. That you won’t be like your parents,” Jeremiah reassures him.

Roman tightens his grasp on his hand, staring right into Jeremiah’s eyes, ones that show so much sincerity, it makes him almost forget his words. “I want to try. You make me want to try.”

His smile is radiant. If Roman was dramatic, he would say that Jeremiah is the sun to his moon. But he’s not dramatic.

(Though he might say it anyway.)

In this whirlwind of a day, Jeremiah has been brave. It’s his turn.

With his other hand, he cups his soulmate’s face and surges forward to kiss him.

Everything made sense and nothing did all at once. Roman can’t believe he ever avoided this feeling. Understanding, belonging, and affection all connected in one kiss.

He also felt the flow of his powers. He almost forgot about that part.

“Eww! Miah, can you go back to pushing me on the swing?” Este recoils, standing right beside them, having left the swings.

Jeremiah laughs, a sound Roman hopes to keep hearing.

“Of course Este.”

Jeremiah reaches down, and Roman realizes that different colored roses sprouted around them.

He picks up a pink one and hands it to Roman.

“To a new beginning.”