An Endless Search

With one final shove, we tumble through the door into a great room with dimmed lights adorned to the vast walls connecting to high ceilings. Otherwise completely empty.. Again.

I look over to Cam and he looks to be feeling just as hopeless as I do in this moment. “I’m sorry Lia. I really thought..” he trails off. I can’t help the sigh that escapes me, making my way to a large fountain staircase which stretches along one end of the giant, empty reminder that we’re no closer to finding any answers than we were yesterday. Holding onto the grande railing securing the left side, I finally allow my self to sink towards the floor, into a pool of self-pity.

I hear the click-clack of his shoes, moving ever so slowly toward me and soon he’s standing above me. I suddenly wish he’d join me in my pool.

“Can I cry now?” I breathe out, feeling as empty inside as this giant bloody room. A huge, crystal chandelier cascading the light around it. A ballroom?

He chuckles, a sad smile sat upon his kind face. “No, stand up for me” he nearly whispers, reaching out for a hand which I take without making eye contact. “Come on” he tugs me to my feet and wraps me in close, rocking from side to side like a half-dance half-hug. The waters of my pool rise. Above my ankles, over my waist until I feel like I’m drowning and, boom. There are the tears.

I’ve failed. I tried. And I tried. And I failed.

I cry into is shoulder.