He’s deffo only got a week to live. The waitress is here. Let’s see if I can lip read him from across the room. I swear he just ordered a whisky! What a piss head. No wonder he looks so rough! He just checked her out, but I don’t blame him. It’s just weird coz he’s old.

Moncler, Gucci, Louis Vuitton. Fucking hell this couple look like a walking designer shop and probs live in a council house. He’s deffo a drug dealer. He’ll pull out an old Nokia soon hahah no way he just pulled out an old Nokia. Oooo she doesn’t look happy. ‘We’ve only just got here you’re not leaving now’ that was easy. She’s deffo local if I can lip read her that well. ‘Babe I’ll be back in ten ye. You know am good for it’ she knows he isn’t good for it. She’s sick of this. God he even walks like a dick head. She is quite attractive maybe I should approach her? Nah don’t fancy getting shanked if he comes back. I won’t be her type anyway.

‘Can I have the lunch time breakfast please and one coffee, milk, no sugar’ this guy looks fresh. I like his coat. I reckon he’s an accountant or summat. This looks like a serious phone call. ‘Sorry darling I’ll be in Turkey for another two days’ Turkey? Did I read that right? ‘The construction site is bin flid yes unforgiving’ yeah he’s lost me. He slurs his words too much. Who’s this fine young thing? Phwoaar she is smoking! ‘I’ve just told my missus I’ll be in Turkey for two more days so we’ve got the weekend to ourselves’ the cheeky fucking prick! The closest he is to Turkey is Christmas dinner in two months!! Hahaha. Wouldn’t mind being him right now though, she is fit!

‘I want you to use the new toys on me when we get home’ oh for fuck sake. I’m not watching those two coffin dodgers talk dirty before I get my meal.

‘8338’ I could easily jump him in a back alley now and take his mums credit card. He looks about 15. I bet he’s going to the cash machine down the road. 8338, hmm. Nah I’m not that evil. Shut up Jack. Bet she’s loaded though.

Oooh yes my burgers here. Time to tuck in. God I love being deaf sometimes. Lip reading is so much fun.