I’m adopted. I know it. In my family, anything my older sister says goes. Every day of the week: “mum, I want a handbag, new clothes and six pair of shoes.” I’m not even exaggerating. She literally asks for the world, and my parents give it to her.

I’ve always wondered what it is like to be loved. What it is like to be the apple of my parent's eyes. My parents try to hide their favouritism towards my sister; it always shows.

One day (like all the other days) I was trying to have a conversation with my mum. For some ‘odd reason’ she kept on worrying about where my sister was at this time of

night.

I was so bored of waiting to talk to my mum, so I decided to go to my dad. Same problem- worrying about where my sister was.

She returned at midnight that particular night. I was elated. Today is the day they will shout at her. Ground her even. But as usual, she was given a kiss on the cheek, a pat on the back and told to have a goodnight.

Fed up of this, I decided to go and dig up my family history. I went to the adoption centre and looked for my biological parents. Nothing. Then I decided to look at my birth records. Nothing. I then did the same for my older sister. I found something.

I was on my bed reading the tattered birth records of my older sister. Inside the brown folder, there was a grainy photo of her. She was looking at the camera lens with a dismal look on her face. I was confused. My older sister can never be sad; she has the love of both my parents. She looked like a toddler in the photo. Her big brown eyes are sunken and her beautiful brown curls frizzy.

I then read the doctors notes on my sister.

Name: Laeanna Johnson

Age: 3 years old

Height: 90 cm- shorter than her age group

Condition: black bruises on her arm, burns on her back, CT scan shows a broken bone in her arm and part of her ribs.

Parents: Carolina Johnson, Mark Johnson

Background: Alcoholics, drugs users

Is this my sister? It can’t be. Her name is Emily Cárter. Her surname is Cárter like me. This can’t be her. My older sister went through this. I continue reading.

Social services in partnership with Adoption worldwide

Adopted parents: Cecile Cárter, Richard Cárter

Information: They cannot have children of their own. They are interested in adopting Miss Laeanna Johnson. On assessing the couple, they can look after an infant. They are financially stable and have a loving nature.

I know now why my sister Emily is the favourite child. My parents want to love her as their child. They never want her to feel left out or different to me as I am their first child. I go down to ask my parents questions.

My mum tells me she wanted Emily to feel like her own flesh and blood, so she never said to her that she was adopted. She loved Emily because “no child should have to go through what Emily went through.” I cry out and ask my mum why she never showed that she loved me as much as she did Emily. Mum answered,” I love you so much, and I think I gave Emily all my attention and love to hide her adoption story forever. She has been through hell and back.” I cry in my mum’s shoulder and tell her this will be our secret. My dad and Emily walk in- confused. We smile at them.

After this point, I began to love my sister with all my heart. I never felt jealousy from this point onwards: except when she got new clothes.