There I was in my office stair, it’s slight spinning entertaining me. I could hear heavy footsteps approaching my door; I braced myself.

“Vegetables are bad for you?!”

My assistant barges in with papers in hand and sweat pooling in his pits. He often grosses me out.

“Can you even comprehend the backlash you will get? There is no way that this is even true; The scientific community will not accept it!”

I stand from my chair. Manically.

“You see, I have a peer reviewed paper with extensive research. There is nothing any scientist can do to disprove my work. Nothing. I made sure of it,” I say, a slimy smile tightening around my lips. “Go ahead, publish it.”

A worried expression, he looks at my timidly, like a frail dog, and he attempts to speak. I know exactly what he is going to say.

“Even If, overnight, I become the world’s most unpopular scientist…? To rid the world of those evil veggie demons, I will sacrifice. Never again shall a child look at a plate and say, ‘Eww, broccoli’ or ‘Gross! a bowl of spinach’. It is for the children! Starting today, those bitter plants will loose their reputation, and so will I”

“This is the dumbest idea you have concocted yet. It’s worst then the one about replacing the Dewey Decimal Syste-“

“Hush now! It is time to bask in my infinite glory!” I proudly proclaim. I stand on the desk, and I feel the warmth of my sacrifice. The sun, like a golden shower, fills me with pride. Today, everything will change.