A cold breeze rattled my bones as I held onto the rough hay straw as if my life depended on it— because t did. My hands where bleeding all over the hay straw creating deep puddles of red. I wanted to let go, if I did I wouldn’t have to feel pain like this ever again. Pain from losing a loved one and pain from wounds that cut my skin so deeply, but if I were to let go I would surely die from falling off this mountain and landing in the harsh sea where the waves crashed against the shore taking out everything in sight. And if I didn’t die from the impact, I would die by drowning.

I grabbed onto the hay tighter than ever. Sharp edges of the hay poked why wounds sending a wave of pain throughout wu whole body, but I didn’t pay attention to that, I tried to foucus on using my upper body strength to host myself up and onto my feet. It was no use, I was too weak if I kept on trying I may to to weak to even hold on the edge of the mountain which would result in my death. I had to be extremely careful one false move, one little mistake could take my life.

Tears began to pour out of my eyes, wiping the dirt and mist off my face and damping my greasy light brown hair. _Why me? _I repeatedly asked myself this question. _Did I do something wrong? _I couldn’t die just yet, I am only 14, I’ve barely even begun living. And as my life flashed before my eyes I barely saw anything. I couldn’t end. Not yet, anyways.

June 21, for two months now, I’ve been living with my grandparents at their farm. When I first arrived at my grandparent’s place, I wasn’t too content about living on a farm, I’d lived in the big city my whole life— or atleast until my parents where killed in an auto reck. During my time in the big city, I’d heard some not-so-nice things about farms, but as time went on I learned that I quite enjoy the country life, it was quite and peaceful, and I got to spend my time in nature. Which was much unlike the city where there was never any peace and quiet, just yelling a the honking of a car’s horn.

I went outside on the balcony to enjoy the sunset. I sat on the porch swing with a cup of hot chocolate in my hand. “KENNETH!” The wobbly and deep voice of my grandfather called out. Suprised, I had spilt the hot cocoa all over myself. It stared to burn my skin, but I didn’t have anytime to react to the burning pain because my grandfather’s voice called out one more, “Hope in the car, quickly we need drive over to the hospital, NOW!” My brian didn’t have time to process what was happening. I bolted down the rocky path that lead to the drive way and hoped into the car. “What’s going on, grandpa, why are you home so early?” I had never being good at hiding my emotions, my voice shaked as I asked.

My grandfather looked at me. “It’s your grandmother, something’s wrong, I don’t know what yet, but Julie drove her to the hospital already.” I started at my feet. I was sad, what if something terrible happened to her? Could I deal with the pain of losing someone else I was so close to? Whatever happened, I tried to comfort myself, couldn’t have been that bad, grandma was healthy and in good shape.

When we arrived at the hospital twenty minutes later, I emedently dashed out of the car. And checked into the hospital. “I’m looking for my grandmother,” I told one of the nurse there, “her name is Elliot O’Brian.” The nurse looked up from her computer, “I’m sorry,” she looked at me sympathetically, “She can’t have visitors right now, she needs more time to heal.”

“Ok.” I replied then quickly turned around to leave. I didn’t want the nurse to see me cry. The death of my parents had left a hole in my heart a pain so great I felt as if I couldn’t escape it and now this. A single tear trickled down my face, it would be the first of many soon to come.

My grandfather drove me home and told me he was going to wait in the hospital room, no kids where allowed. I didn’t want him to leave, but I knew he had to, so now I sat alone. Minutes ticked by slowly and no longer could I wait. I got up to go to the edge of a cliff where not to far from the farm where an old bench layed. I figured that looking at the ocean from there Whould maybe calm me down. My grandparents don’t allow me go go there, they said it’s dangerous, but they weren’t here and I needed this, besides I wasn’t I child, I knew not to get to close to the edge.

I had reached the bench within two minutes, it was closer than I thought. The bench was old, wooden, and molding, but I didn’t care. I sat down carefully to advise the moldy spots. For a long time I just sat there staring at the beautiful ocean that sparkled in the night sky. I was about to get up to leave when I noticed something from the corner of my eye. It was a beautiful purple flower blooming just in the edge of the cliff. I had to get that flower for grandma, she’d love it. I walked over then keeled at the edge of the cliff and carefully reached my hand out to grab the flower. That was my fist mistake. I bent down to close the the edge a slipped.

As I began to fall my instincts kicked in. My first thought was to try to grab a hold of on of the rocks sticking out from the edge. I extended my arms and tried to grab on to a rock. I did. I was alive. My hands and arms were cut badly, and probably would become infected. But I was alive and holding onto a chunk of rock just big enough for me to hold onto. That was close. To close. But now I had another problem. How would I get to safety? I didn’t know all I knew in this moment was that I needed to hang in there, literally. I begun to think about my life and life in general. Had my time finally come? Was it going to end like this? If I died would there be pain and sorrow or peace. My hands grew sweaty and once again I began to slip.

There was a cold breeze and then loud splash that shook the earth. Water filled my lungs. I had survived the fall, maybe I wasn’t as high up as I’d thought, but not that didn’t matter, the current was pulling me further and deeper I to the sea. Everything became blurry and a darkness surrounded me. I couldn’t feel anything.

I gasped. My lungs filled with air and I coughed up water and blood. What happened my brain was fuzzy. Right now I didn’t know where I was or how I had gotten here. “I see your finally awake, kiddo.” A deep voice belonging to a man interrupted my thoughts. Slowly, I turned around to see and old fisherman siting behind me. He had black soaked hair a bright green eyes that brought life to his plain and boring figure. He smiled kindly, “You’re lucky I saw you fall into the ocean and was able to pull you out, or you’d be dead.” I around me, I was on an old boat used by fishermen in this area. “Thank you, sir.” I tried to smile but was too worn out. “No problem, kid, now, where’s your house? I’ll take you home.” I gave him the directions to the farm and slowly we sailed there.

We I rang the doorbell, my grandmother opened the door. My face lit up. “Grandma I’m so hap-“ I didn’t get to finish, my grandmother pulled me into a tight hug. “I’m so happy you’re ok, Kenneth,” she teared up, “You- we- I- we came home and you weren’t here, you’ve been gone for over three hours what on earth happened?”

I hugged grandma tightly, “I’ll explain back inside, your ok?” My grandma chuckled, “Don’t worry about me, I just feel down the stairs and hurt my leg, I’m getting too old.”

She brought me inside and I explained carefully to everyone what had happened the bench, the flower, the cliff, the fisherman. They forgave me for what I’d didn’t but I was never quite able to forgive myself.

Not just for disobeying their orders, but also for not trying to do more. When I was dangling from the cliff I saw my life flash before my eyes. Now, I understood the delicate balance between life and death. And that if I didn’t live my life to the fullest when I die I’ll regret it. Because you only have one life, and now’s your change to live it.