“What are you saying?”

“John, I think it’s time we went our separate ways.”

“I don’t understand.”

“What is there not to understand, John. I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure that I ever loved you. The thought of staying in this relationship for one second longer is killing me.”

“What?”

“Is it really that difficult to understand? It’s over! This isn’t rocket science. I don’t think there is any other way to say it. I want a divorce!”

“You and your horse!”

“How rude! I’m pouring out my heart to you and you want to crack some kind of weird joke? That’s it, I’m done!”

As she walked away and headed off to somewhere, I realized that my hearing aids had been off the whole time. Oh, I get it now, she didn’t say horse, she said she was going to the store. I hope she grabs a pack of Oreos while she’s there.