_(Bro, it’s like these prompts know what I need. Here is when the cringe starts. I was really in a bad place last year—mum finding out about online boyfriend stuff—so I think I unconsciously made this story about me and him. I’m totally different now, and omg. It hurts!)_

**_Chapter 3_**

_Ballari returned to her room_ sweating and shaking, she leaned against the post of her bed as she lost her balance. Whether or not it was out of fear or horror she did not know. Maybe it wasn’t either. Maybe her heart was just acting up again.

Ballari opened the drawer beside her bed and pulled out a satchel full of glasses. She opened up one glass labeled _Tranquility _and took a sip. Her tongue was introduced to the taste of lavender and sage as it traveled throughout her body.

Her shaking stopped, her aching as well. She had enough energy to rise and sit up that moment, and used it to haul herself onto her rickety bed. The sweating ceased after a moment and was replaced with a warm, fuzzy feeling. Ballari’s heart even stilled, pumping like it was a normal human heart. But it wasn’t.

It was a pig’s.

It used to be a pig’s heart and it still was a pig’s heart. The only difference was that it was inside of a human’s body, though that hardly made a dent in her life at all, she was still treated like an animal. By the villagers. By the pigs—though they welcomed her full heartedly. She still didn’t know what MISS actually thought about her, but she was sure that she had at least a bit of hate for her in her heart.

Her _human _heart.

Ballari felt tears well up in her eyes and soon enough she felt them pouring down her cheeks like a fast waterfall. All she wanted to do was curl up in her bed and sleep, but she had to wash herself or MISS wouldn’t be happy. She wiped her now red eyes and wet cheeks with the back of her hand before grabbing a nightgown out of her closet. A tiny thought of Alistarie greeting her again brightened her up a little and made her focus. She then thought to herself that a bath would be helpful to her own benefit, baths always made her feel better.

It did not.

Ballari felt even worse as she climbed into her stiff, old bed. She laid her head on a soft pillow, smelly from all the sweat she poured off whenever she had nightmares. Her blanket had several holes in it, but she would never throw it away. _Never_.

It had since faded to a dull pink, and the tassels at the end were beginning to go loose, but it had belonged to her birthmother. The one who brought her to this place in the first place. The one who wanted to fix her daughter’s faulty heart.

When Ballari asked why her Mother hadn’t taken her with her when she left, MISS said that she didn’t want a girl with a pig heart and that she left her here because she thought she was an abomination. When MISS had told her that, Ballari had cried and cried as MISS cradled her like a newborn baby. Though now that she was older, she knew not to trust everything that MISS said, she had more lies on her back than a serpent. MISS had told Ballari that Ballari’s mother never liked serpents.

So Ballari thought the opposite. She knew her mother had left, that was obvious, but if she didn’t love her child, why did she leave her beloved blanket behind? That was the only thing that kept Ballari moving in this world.

Now, she stared up at the ceiling, begging for sleep to take her over, but as always, it never listened. Ballari then decided to be honest to herself, it wasn’t like anyone was going to listen.

Ballari took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and listened to the crickets of the night. Then, she began to speak.

“I want to find the place where I belong,” she whispered, “The place where my Mother is, the place far from here.”

She opened her eyes, now full with hope and longing. “I want to go _home with her_.”

**_Chapter 4_**

_Early the next morning_, MISS instructed Ballari to go out to the meadow and pick some flowers. Though Ballari really didn’t like to go alone to such open spaced places, she _did_ want a little time to herself though, so she took it.

Despite herself, Ballari was having an amazing time. She wore a bright baby blue dress that stopped at the bottom of her knees, the rest of her leg was secured by white stocking, she even had buckled shoes to tie it all together, courtesy of MISS’s lovely shopping. Her dress was short sleeved, which was a very rare thing to find in her closet, but she was thankful that she had.

The air was hot, but not stuffy. A cool breeze

swept through every now and then, blowing against the tall grass and flowers of every kind. Animals ranging from beavers to deers were in sight everywhere.

MISS had given her a basket for lunch, and given that it was around lunch time, Ballari placed down a checked table covering and sat down on one side of it, placing a basket near her crossed knees.

Ballari took a deep breath in. She smelled the wild grass, the soft flavor of the wind as it carried the scent of lovely flowers. She smelled poppies, cornflowers, goldenrods, and… The girl sniffed once more.

Pine needles?

Ballari turned toward the other side of the table covering and gasped.

“Hello, Ballari.” Alistarie smiled at her surprise, a sly crafty grin that looked perfect on his dimpled face. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

Alistarie wore a pair of deep blue trousers with a neatly tucked in white button up shirt. He looked at Ballari with the same grin, until it disappeared. Instead he looked at her with a concerned expression on his face.

“What,” He cocked his head toward the side, “You’ve heard how I escaped the woods?”

“Yes?” Ballari was confused, about his sudden appearance, about everything actually. But soon that passed over and she was ready again. “Yes, I did...”

Ballari shrinked back as he sat down beside her, trying to put some space between their bodies. She was with a boy who MISS disliked, who might be using dark magic, who everyone in the town did _not _trust, but most importantly, he was looking for_ her_. Why?

She still saw a hint of worry in the boy's eyes, but it all disappeared when she offered him a sandwich. She would question him; it seemed like the most logical thing to do.

She split it into two halves, giving one half to Alistarie, and keeping the other half to herself. Alistarie looked like a happy toddler as he munched and chewed on his sandwich, which seemed strange to his crafty and cunning demeanor. Ballari let out a small chuckle, muffled by the soft, chewy bread that was sticking to the roof of her mouth. She then brought out a pastry bread and gave it to the boy. Alistarie bit into it eagerly, his eyes opening wide. The filling, to Ballari, was the best part of some sweets, it seemed like that to Alistarie as well; he stuffed the pastry into his mouth after the first bite.

Eventually, all the food had been devoured fully and there was none left. Ballari felt like she was floating on top of the world, flying higher and higher until she couldn’t see the Earth; she ate too much. She lay down groaning, squeezing her eyes shut and clutching her full stomach, wishing the pain would go away.

Alistarie just sighed. “Today was fun, Ballari.”

Ballari let out a small laugh. “Was it?”

Alistarie nodded his head. Then he suddenly became serious. “Ballari, do you believe the rumors?”

“Oh, um…” she opened her eyes. Ballari thought that this conversation was already over when he first asked.

Alistarie turned to look at her, and Ballari thought that he was going to be upset with her answer. Instead he looked at her with a reasonable face, like he understood that she would indeed be one to believe in rumors. Ballari wanted to tell him how she really came to know of it, but she decided against it and let him continue. “They aren’t wrong, you know.”

“Huh!” Ballari was shocked. Alistarie really did use dark—

“They’re wrong about me using black magic though.” His eyes shined against the lowering sun, creating a strange glow around his body. The strange pine scent had been low and lingering, but now it was strong, washing the air around her with a relaxing aurora. He laughed, a dark scary sound, “It’s nothing like _that_.”

Her eyes felt strangely heavy at that moment, and it took her a few attempts to lift herself up from the ground. She straightened her dress and smoothed some wrinkles on it.

“I suppose you already know that I came looking for you, as well.”

Ballari nodded silently and hugged her legs to her chest, it felt more uncomfortable to hear that coming from Alistarie than it had with MISS. Perhaps it was because she now knew that it was true. Ballari yawned loud and exhausted as the fragrance of pine drifted into her every bone. It was muting all use of her bones and it was so, so very strong. _How did Alistarie not smell the pine?_

She flinched and stiffened as Alistarie pulled her onto his lap, but then the pine was around her again and she relaxed once more.

“Ballari.” Alistarie spoke low and soft, as though the loudest noise could disturb this peace. “Ballari, I need you to come with me.”

“Hmmm…” Both of the girl’s eyes were closed. Ballari was near the edge of sleep. It seemed hard to even focus on the boy's voice, but she still heard him, still heard his demanding whispers.

“Ballari, I need you to come with me.” He repeated again, a bit loud and harsh. “Will you come with me?”

Ballari groaned and fell into a deep, soft slumber.

***

_💀💀💀 Whenever I read this, because I skimmed it as I spaced it out for your convenience, I just—I just cringe. I’m sorry, it gives me goosebumps to see how much I changed Alistarie (his name used to be Oswald btw, before I took the name and made a totally different story: Living Is A Strange Thing.) I fucking hate my old draft. Even though I wrote a bunch and really liked it back in my angst days, the drafts I have now are waaaayy better. But I have like 26 chapters in this old draft, sooo._