I actually am very good friends with my other half. They (honoring pronouns here) bring the lightness of being, to try and describe them, and my gratitude for them is limitless. But you know, sometimes, they’re just wrong. Freaking wrong! I know, by definition (ha!), that I am right. Even if I am left, but that’s a different argument for another time. Left behind, that’s what this one’s about.

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My friend and I are inseparable. I told her that we will always stay friends–BFFs–but we need our space, and we’re moving out. We actually, albeit unofficially, vacate the premises from time to time, like when she wants to sleep, and we have a wild hair to roam. It was not too long ago that we discovered the perfect mental escape. The sign said: My Happy Place. And you know what? It is! Usually it's sand and surf, but it's changeable, and it's always perfect and lovely. We want the permanent vacation package. We're renaming it slightly, though, "Our Happy Place."

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They literally do not know what they are asking for. I over-enunciated, trying to explain the meaning of permanent vacation. They told me to quit being so analytical. Then they painted me a picture of how they were feeling and threatened an interpretive dance. I told them “permanent” was not an option. Vacations, as a given, are temporary repose from day-to-day life. Their answer? Door slam, and crank up the ear worm. Geez! It's like trying to debate with bubbles! (Does that even make sense? Yeah, my whole point. They don’t make ANY sense.)

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Truth be told, we’re going to miss her if she doesn’t come along, or at least visit on the daily. Talk about needing a wellness break—she’s in serious need. She’s a right hoot when she has her priorities in order (which should be “play while you can,” NOT “work first/play later”). If we can just convince her to pretend to be asleep tonight, and join us, then she'll see and know.

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I don’t think I can live without them. The way that all works; it's a biological need. They didn’t even ask! They’ve sent me some pretty dreamy postcards, wisps of vision, really. I get it. They need to have a good time now and again. I'm the steady, stable one. How come I can’t be a many? Oh wait, I know, because I don’t want to boss others like me around.

I just want to hang out with my friend. And now they’re leaving me.

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That’s it! Tonight, just as she’s drifting off, we kidnap her! Bet's on she's going to love our happy place, but until she sees it with her own eyes, she’ll never know. This way, she can totally decide—which is, of course, one of her favorite things to do. Us? We made up ours oodles of ages ago.