I sat on a high above the floor my hands shook so much I felt as if they might fall off, my whole body felt as if it was stuck in place and time moved through me or without me not allowing me to breathe or move, feel, or see clearly, took hours for my breathing to come back and my brain to comprehend what was going on

My mother sat beside me her gaze on her plate of breakfast, my mother was known for her incredible beauty and smart nature, she could make works of art in a day and spent hours talking about everything from poetry to politics

I always knew my mother had a passion for everything she saw she loved new things and expression and experiences, she never cared about me as a person to her I was the good image for my family nothing more then a face for a artist to paint over she was a kid herself when she was married off and i don’t think anyone showed her how to love

My father sat across from my mother In a overly dramatic gold like chair his face was full of empty smiles and fake laughs he always gave people the reaction they expected they never knew my father the way I did stuck in a house with him and forced to live a life of solitude from my father he didn’t pretend to love me like my mother had he had told me several times throughout my childhood that I was unlovable that my creation was one of convenience

I sat eating breakfast with the two strangers that I had known my entire life i don’t think they even know I’m struggling half the time