My papi used to call me sugar cause “there ain’t nothin sweeter than you.”

He’d hoist me up on his knee with a low pitched grunt and tell me to close my eyes.

“Imagine all you desire and tell me whatcha see. I’ll do my best to make it happen.”

I don’t remember what I said to him. My daddy tells me I’d always say somethin I already had or somethin that had already happened until one day I told him I wanted to see the world. Wasn’t but a month ago that he passed and left my daddy everything. In his will he told us to head west and not look back. That he wanted his grandbaby to see everything this nation had to offer. We spent a day crying, the next day preparing, and set out the day after that. Momma didn’t want to go, too much of a lady for the rough country. Despite years and years of me trailing after my daddy and papi, she still held out hope of makin me a lady. I can’t count how many times she’s yelled at me over a skinned knee or a ripped dress. When she got done yellin at me she lay into my daddy. He’d sit back with a smirk until she ran out of hot air.

“Ain’t my fault you gave me a son in a daughters body.”

“She is not your son though! You need to quit treating her like a boy.”

“You know you’re cute when you’re angry.”

She’d roll her eyes and stomp off in a huff. Daddy would wink at me before going after her.

Daddy had loaded up her trunks and we’d left with her grumbling the whole first hour. When she finally quit I rode out ahead until the world opened up to me. The sky was clear and I watched the breeze move through the open field. Watched the grass bow in a wave across the landscape. I felt my papi there with me. I felt his excitement and wonder, and everything that lay before me was the life he had wanted for me. The life I wanted for myself.

I knew it wasn’t gonna be easy, but I imagined a place where the sky was as endless as the abundance of the land. I imagined the family I might have some day if any man would love me and allow me my freedom to do as I please. I imagined my sons or daughters runnin around in circles, lookin for adventures. It was out there and I would find it. I would follow whatever it was that spurred my soul onward until I reached it.

With those thoughts, I opened my eyes and urged my horse forward.