“Don’t you think we’re too young for marriage?” He asked. “Not at all” I replied. “We’re in our prime aren’t we?” The leather couch in my parents basement made an awful noise when he got up and dusted his pants.

“Right.” He stared at his phone. He got down on one knee.

This was it. The moment he said he wanted me and I could wrap my arms around him. He’d say he didn’t care who I was, he just wanted me-

He tied his shoe. I dug my nails into my palms as I watched. Of course not.

“What’s with the questions about marriage?” I decided to ask, my voice unwavering. He grabbed a beer from the mini fridge in the corner of the hot room.

“I got Bianca pregnant. Her folks want us to get married.”

My earth shattered. His girlfriend was pregnant. Of course.

I stared at him. “How are you sure it’s yours?” I blurted out. He glared at me from the corner of his eyes. “I’m not going to accuse my girlfriend of cheating.”

I bit the inside of my cheek until thick metallic crimson liquid was flowing down my throat. I was tired of waiting.

“What about us?” I asked, softer.

He stared at me in bewilderment. “What about us?” He echoed right after me. I licked my dry lips.

“I though-“ I paused. I had to think carefully. “I like you, Ethan” I finished.

He didn’t dare reply instantly. He chugged his beer as if he were a frat brother, as if he even went to college. “I didn’t know that.”

We stared at each other. “I didn’t know you were that dense” I chuckle awkwardly. He was not laughing. “I didn’t think-“

He chose his next words carefully.

“Carl, I’m not gay. I didn’t know you were.”

My mouth went dry.

“I didn’t know you felt like that.”

He stared at me. “Carl I love Bianca. I’m going to marry her.”

“Ethan- I didn’t-“

He cut me off. “I’m going to Bianca’s. Don’t- don’t call me” he stuttered. I watched him turn. The end of our six year friendship. The end of everything I’ve worked for.

I couldn’t let that happen.

I threw his beer bottle at his head. He knocked cold on the tile floor. Blood seeped from the back of his short brown hair. He was unconscious. I flipped him onto his side.

He seemed peaceful. Blood ran from his head into his eye.

God, what did I do?

The bottle laid in little glass shards at his feet. A particularly large one caught my eye.

Bianca wasn’t in the afterlife. She couldn’t separate us then. He couldn’t cheat on me with her.

I grabbed it. The sharp sides cut my palm but I couldn’t feel the pain. Before I could change my mind, I stabbed the shard into him. I watched over him until he stopped breathing.

I made sure he didn’t stir, didn’t feel the pain. When his chest stopped rising and he felt cool to the touch, I took the same shard and ended myself on top of him. His beautiful body.

If he wasn’t going to love me, he wasn’t going to love anybody.