_“Hehe… ahhh, the smell! To DIE for!”, my fingers like mighty tentacles wrap around the DELECTABLE piece of cheese. _

Dear Diary,

Recently, the chef has been having a “rat” infestation. He keeps telling us to set up mouse traps around the restaurant. Little does he know that the rats are human sized 😌

“Here, I’m giving you the key to the storage. Keep an eye out on those traps” Chef proceeds to pull out the most glorious treasure he could think of: the key to the storage. _Oh Chef! You are heaven sent!_

__

__

Chef leaves, I wait no longer: my lover awaits my return 😩. It’s as if my entire body resonates with my heartbeat at the thought of it being just her and I (and I’m going to devour her whole).

I rush over to the door, my legs light and tingly.

The problem is that Chef doesn’t know how to appreciate the things that he has. He’s too caught up in his “restaurant” that he forgets who was there for him all along, and that he now keeps LoCkEd in a storage closet…?! Shameful.

My eyes unfocus with every beat of my chest. My breath tightens, “_is it me or is it hot in here?”. _I stretch out my hand and grasp the knob, it’s locked, “mm, you’re teasing me (you naughty naughty) 😏”. I riff around my pocket and pull the key chef gave me.

The blood rushes to my head… ;) I’m no longer thinking straight, my mind zeroes in on the keyhole. With trembling and sweaty hands hands, I slip my key into the hole and twist the knob. _Creeeek…. BOOM _💥_ _my soul literally ascends!

__

_—In the wonders of this universe, no smell is as delectable as yours, my love. —_

__

__

There she lies, waiting for me: My beautiful Smoked Gouda, I LUV U BB GURL!

…Daddy’s home 😈💦

Author note: somewhat cringy 🤣 going for sexy funny. Tips are welcome! 😁