On a hot summer afternoon, Jim shoves the large tan sofa chair into the middle of the room. He has now formed a triangle of chairs. Jim sits in the large tan sofa chair. His was the tip of the triangle. He sits only on the edge of the chair, anxious and fidgety. Frank sits in the brown folding chair to the left of Jim. It creaks. Dave sits on the big bean bag chair, designed to look like a giant blue soccer ball. He lands ungracefully in the thing. It crunches. It is silent. They stare. “Ok, so, here we go,” Jim begins. He takes a deep breathe. He lets it out. He takes another one. He lets it out also. “Woooboy, this is hard. This is tough,” Jim says. He rubs his face roughly. He runs his fingers through his brown hair. “I wish it hadn’t come to this but I have to make a decision on who’s going to be my best man,” Jim says. Frank and Dave look at Jim. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot. A whole lot. In fact, it feels like the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make,” Jim says, rubbing his hands on his jeans. Frank is chewing gum. “I love you guys both so much and I want you both to be part of this holy moment with me. I just want you to know that I’ve thought really, really hard about this to the point where I couldn’t sleep last night,” Jim says. Dave checks his phone. “I’ve lost my appetite. My therapist thinks it’s wedding nerves, which it is….but not about marrying Susan. It’s about whether I have my little brother..” Jim pauses, smiling at Dave. “Or my best friend…” Jim pauses, smiling at Frank. “Be my best man.” No comments are made. “I called you here to let you guys know that I’ve finally made my decision. I want to thank you guys for your patience in this. I know it couldn’t have been easy. Heck, I haven’t pooped in a week!” Jim says. Frank and Dave look at each other. “Ok, so here it is. Dave,” Jim says, getting down on one knee for some reason, “Will you be my best man?” “Sure,” says Dave. Jim smiles. “Great! That’s great!” He says. “And Frank, I promise that if Susan and I get divorced or she dies prematurely and I plan to get married again, you will be my best man then.” “Ok,” says Frank, chewing. “Ok, great, good, good,” Jim says, getting off his knees and standing. Frank and Dave begin to stand up. “Wait!” Jim yells, swirling around and clenching his eyes closed. Frank and Dave freeze, mid stand up. “Frank, you honored me with having me be your best man, so it’s only fair to let you be my best man. Dave and I are blood, and we’ll always have a deep brotherly connection. Making you my best man is one of the few ways I can honor your friendship to me, through good times and hard times. So, Frank, I’d like you to be my best man, if you’ll have me,” Jim says. “Sure,” says Frank. “Brother, I’m sorry for the sudden change, are you ok with this?” Jim says. “Yeah, its fine,” says Dave, looking at his phone. “We’re cool?” Jim asks. “We’re cool,” says Dave. “No bad blood?” Jim asks. “Nope,” says Dave. “Alright!” Jim claps, “it’s settled then!” Dave and Frank get up to leave. “WAIT!!!” says Jim. “Bro…” says Dave, with a big sigh. “Listen, I think the right thing to do is..” “Jim,” says Frank, “ This is the third time we’ve had this discussion.” “I told you this is hard for me!” Jim says. “I think I have a solution for you,” Frank says, “We will both be your best man.” “You’ll What?” Says Jim. “We’ll both be your best man. We will stand next to you on the stage. Half way through, Dave and I will switch places. We will both give speeches at the reception. We will share the honor,” Frank says. Jim stares at Frank. He sits down in his large tan sofa chair. “Best….men?” Jim says. “Yeah, that’s right,” says Frank, “best men.” Jim looks at Dave. Jim says, “Best…” “Men,” answers Dave. Jim ponders. Dave and Frank share a hopeful glance. “Ok,” Jim agrees, “Best men.” On the day of the wedding, Jim’s best man, Randy Norris, the gentlemen who sold Jim the large tan sofa chair at a 30% discount and who really hit it off, did a fine job and made a moving speech. Frank and Dave were fine with this.