“Frank. You’ve got to look at this.” Barbara’s voice was stern but steady. But when Frank didn’t move from browsing Twitter, she slammed her fists on the desk.

“Frank!!”

“Ok. Ok. I’m coming.” He reluctantly tucked his phone away and looked at the screen Barbara was shrilling over.

“It’s a… shelf?”

“Not just any shelf, Frank.” The words came out of Barbara like a machine gun. “An empty shelf. At the grocery store.”

Frank blinked.

“Don’t you see, Frank? The store is out of peanut butter. And if they’re out of peanut butter, we can’t make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And then what will we eat all week, Frank? What if it’s another hoarding situation like with toilet paper? Did we miss the boat, Frank? Should we have bought in bulk last week? Why didn’t we buy in bulk?”

Barbara was near tears- her usual form.

Frank shrugged. “Didn’t see anyone tweet about a peanut butter shortage. They’re probably just out.”

Britney chimed in, her voice musical, “This would be a great chance to make our own!”

Barbara’s panic quickly shifted from bulk shortage to imposter syndrome.

“We don’t know anything about making peanut butter! Why didn’t we take a cooking class? Like that would even have helped! What a stupid thought!”

“This will be great!” Britney was all bubbles. “With a little practice, we could even sell it at the farmer’s market! Have a cute little sign. Oh! A little cartoon peanut!”

And there she went- fantasizing about something no one else could even come close to imagining.

“You know- in my day- we never would have had to even THINK about a peanut butter shortage.” Jared’s unwelcome rant began. “Things are too crazy these days. I blame the government. You know you can get the real truth on Facebook and the TRUTH is-“

“Dude- there’s no ‘your day’. We’re all the same age.” Frank cut him off without even looking up from his phone.

“Can’t we just make a decision? We really should have made it already. We’re just standing here like an idiot in the peanut butter aisle. Everyone is staring at us!” Barbara blubbered.

“Just do a vote.” Frank said.

“Fine.” Barbara pouted. “All for having a panic attack in the middle of the peanut butter aisle- raise your hand.” Only Barbara’s hand shot up- which made her pout harder.

“All for making an angry Facebook post about how terrible grocery stores are these days?” Jared was so busy plotting his post that he didn’t vote for his own suggestion- resulting in a whopping zero votes.

“All for starting our own farm with a cow, 6 chickens and an apple orchard?” Britney had gotten a bit distracted, evidently.

“What about the peanut butter?” Jared huffed- still irritated that his suggestion had been rejected.

“Oh yeah.” She giggled. “And peanut butter.” But nobody but Britney wanted to begin the farming life today.

“This isn’t working!” Barbara was crying now.

Frank sighed. “All for going back home, eating grilled cheese, and seeing if they get some peanut butter in tomorrow?”

Everyone looked around, nodded and raised their hands. It wasn’t the best- but it would do.

Barbara pressed a button on the screen, initiating the grocery store exit.

“Whew.” She exhaled, temporarily stress-free, “Another day, another crisis averted.”