“Ellie, was it?” I ask walking up the short dark haired cutie I had plucked up the courage to ask out. She turned and smiled, though for a second it seemed to quiver at the edges. I became instantly nervous but after an exhale of oxygen I came back to me.

“It’s Jennifer,” I hold out my hand a bit awkward but it was the first time meeting.

She sighs “Jennifer I have just got to say that you don’t seem much different from back then.”

“Excuse me?” I furrow my brow completely bewildered by her remark.

“I didn’t think it would actually be you.” She pulls a thin red and white book from her bag. “But when we matched on the site you looked familiar and it hit me. We went to middle school together.”

“What.” My throat is so dry I can’t even say how I don’t want to think about middle school most of my coping mechanisms began manifesting then. My hand is bunched together the pressure of my fingers on each other distracting me from my racing heart.

“Well, “ Ellie pauses “back then you asked me out as Elijah.”

Like an anvil had fallen through my stomach, the realization hit me hard I was on a first date with a girl who I had asked out back when I was in the closet. Maybe we both don’t need to dwell on the past. A grin graces my face finally able to relax from all the nerves that had racked up. She was about to open the book but I placed my hand on it. I smiled.

“It’s nice to meet you Ellie. It’s hard to say this but I don’t want to think about past me. I’m completely different. I figured most of the people from our past are completely different too. So I just give everyone a blank slate if I ever see anyone again. So wanna get a drink?”