Dearest Police Department

This letter is an account of my experience on the 14th of August 1943…

The men being away on their trip gave us the time to ourselves we dearly needed. The seven of us sat chatting and giggling about our simpleton husbands. Honestly I felt I missed dear Johnson. He was so kind to me and his charming smile never failed to amuse me. Our little gossip party continued but I did not take much part in it. I might even say I was the odd one out. The one who stayed out of conversation and instead contemplated the story I had just been reading by Agatha Christie.

I knew this party was about to get a hell of a lot more interesting.

The hostess had taken a sip of her tea and coughed loudly and hoarsely. Foam spilt over the corner of her mouth. Mrs. Pendleton tried to reach out to her mother but she soon started doing the same thing. Suddenly nearly every girl at the table began to convulse and writhe with seething foaming mouths.

“Oh dear”, I said, “Looks as though you’ve swallowed some Strichnine. Nasty bit of good isn’t it. My my Mrs. Pendleton, you especially deserve it being that you tried to screw Johnson. Well well well the rest of you deserve it as well. You gossipers and scammers and cheaters. Liars, all of you. And yet look at all your faces… So cold and sad. What a pity. Then again my parties are much better. Far less casualties.”

I laughed a little to myself and took a sip of my tea choking on it as I did so. Foam spilled from my mouth as I jabbed the antidote into my leg. Now I looked like a survivor. Those nasty wenches got what they deserved.

The butler was arrested and I got away Scot free. I write this letter to you confessing the details in the fullest extent. I am remorseful for my actions but after this letter is published to you I will have already taken a lethal dosage of the same poison. I hope to be reunited with poor Johnson who recently died of a little strichnine himself. Good bye old world. Hello Johnson.

Signed,

Mary Lopen.