I keep mistiming picking up my mail.

I don’t think the mail gremlins would actually bite my fingers off but when they gnash their teeth it worries me.

They generally refill the mail around 3 pm each day, opening up the back door to the mailboxes for my apartment complex and shoving people’s mail in. And if you are unlucky enough, like I am, you are opening your mailbox from the other side and reaching your hand in to get your mail out.

Silas told me that there’s a magical ward that prevents them from actually coming through but my paranoia tells me differently.

I don’t know how big the gremlins are, it’s hard to tell from peering in the little metal square. They’re red though and have a halo of fur, not unlike a lion. The rest of them, at least until their bellies, seems to be scaly like lizards.

It’s hard to get a good look at where they are, The Mail Room as I’ve heard it called. Their hands and on bad days their angry faces really take up the full window.

For awhile I tried to see if I got the same one delivering my mail every time. I would leave treats to entice them but the treats would always be there when I opened the mailbox again. I hope that means they’re being fed well.

I started to doubt that though when my mail began showing up with some of the corners chewed off. I get a lot of junk mail so it was mostly ripped coupons for products I don’t buy and the edges of clothing catalogues.

Well, that is until my stimulus check was a quarter missing. I needed that money. It was the least the government could do after this trash ass pandemic.

I had picked up my mail at 4 pm that day so after the other side door had closed.

Silas winced when I showed him. “What is going on over there??” He asked.

“Dude I don’t know. I thought it was funny when it was like bits of paper missing but this is not good!” I shook my head. “How do I even contact them to ask about it?"

Silas shrugged. Neither of us had ever had to contact The Mail Room before. And it’s not like the gremlins were communicative.

“Ughhhhh” I said.

I slept on it and decided the next morning to get my mail at the overlap time.

2:55 pm my mailbox door was open and I waited. Silas popped by at 2:58 pm to get his mail from yesterday and see what was going to happen.

3:00 pm right on time the other side opened and a red scaly hand pushed a bunch of envelopes into my mailbox.

“Hey!” I shouted.

I heard a confused grunt. A big red slightly fluffy face came into view.

“Where do I report chewed mail?” I asked.

The face narrowed its eyes.

“Please?” I offered.

The face disappeared and the arm came back. It slid all the way through the mailbox and out onto our side.

I looked at Silas. “So much for those magical wards,” I said. His mouth was hanging open.

The arm flailed around until it grabbed onto my arm and started pulling.

“Uhhhh” I said. Silas started to pull me back.

“No, no” I waved him off, “let’s just see where this goes. I have my phone and my communicator!”

“Once you do this, you can never go back. You understand?” He said.

I nodded. I was crossing a boundary that was set to keep us safe. But for the sake of adventure and my $1200 stimulus check I had to go.

I stopped resisting and I let the gremlin pull me through the mailbox and out the other side.