A Muddled Confrontation
Light filters in through the window, glaring slightly in my eye. Adjusting my position, I sigh and lean back in the chair. A plate of cold food lay forgotten on the desk in front of me. I glance around my room before standing to my feet, stretching to relieve my limbs of their ache.
Where is he? He should’ve shown up hours ago. He and I planned to hang out for awhile during the weekend, and already, he’s an hour late. Part of me begins to worry, an unsettling feeling sinking into the pit of my stomach.
Mindlessly, my feet carry me outside, myself only pausing to slip on some boots. The second I open the door, a dizzying sensation numbs my body. For a moment, I almost think I’m going to be sick or pass out. However, neither happen. In an instant, I slump against the railing, gasping for air and blinking harshly.
Again, the world is spinning, thoughts scattered everywhere as I take in a deep breath.
I feel my feet give out from under me, but instead of hitting the cold cement of my porch, I’m met with rough dirt, muddled with pebbles here and there. My eyes snap open, heart pounding in my chest. Through bleary eyes I see my hands clawing at the dirt underneath my body as I scramble to stand.
“Look at you,” a deep voice growls from behind me, causing my hair to stand on end, “fucking pathetic.” The voice spits his words out, shoving me enough to cause me to stumble. A fist roughly pulls me up by the collar as another hand smacks me across the face.
My cheek stings, and my eyes water unhelpfully. “D-Dad-“ my voice speaks before I realize it, sounding foreign, as if it’s not my own.
The man’s expression darkens, face inching closer to mine. “Don’t call me dad. You lost that right years ago.”
At his words, a pang of guilt washes over me. “I’m sorry! Okay? I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! I- I didn’t! Please! I-“ I feel hot tears slide down my face. My throat burns at the intensity of which I scream, though part of me questions why I did in the first place. What did I do?
Immediately, I’m slammed to the ground. “Then why the hell did you do it? Huh? It’s all your fault!” As I hear the man reaching for something, I kick his knee as hard as I can, hearing a slight pop. As he howls in pain, I stand, running as fast as possible with only one thought in mind.
I have to get to her.
My legs carry me across streets, the sound of shouting echoing far behind me. My breathes come out in huffs of short air, and just as I think I’m going to collapse, I see it. Her house.
Pushing harder, I pump my arms, watching the figure turn to me in surprise as I grow closer.
“J- Jay-“ My words are nearly a whisper, and suddenly, I realize I’m not myself. In front of me is, well, me.
Looking down at my clothes, my eyes widen.
I’m him.
I look back up, seeing myself freeze. Just the sight of me brings tears to my eyes, an odd feeling arising in my chest. Seeing myself through his eyes brings a sense of happiness briefly. However, that happiness is replaced by fear as guilt builds within my stomach- er, his. I watch as my eyes widen in fear, and my breath hitches as I see myself back away in fear.
A pale expression falls over my face, and I see my hands grip the railing tightly, knuckles turning white. “What did you do?”