August 1st XXXX

The sun struck again. Bearing down on the boat like a mother on her dirty child. The crewman didn’t last an hour under our everlasting star. The sea water festers on the sturdy wood, shifting from one side of the boat to the other as the waves rock us to and fro.

There is no wind today, the sails are quiet and the fish scarce. We’ve been drifting for days and the bread has been gone for even longer. But still, at night with the clear water beneath me, I look to the stars and wonder which ocean you found yourself in.

The edge of the world bleeds into a rainbows. Pinks and purples and greens and blues. Blending and bending around the clouds and rain and empty skies as day after day pass without any incident. It feels too calm here, without the trouble you brought my crewman have gotten bored, have started to sing and write and paint.

I wake in the morning with a sadness that is still bone deep. And I eat the meager breakfast we can scrounge. And we pull up the empty lines and keep on drifting and pray for the wind to pick up.

And all I can think about is you.

September 1st XXXX

The wind picked up a fortnight ago, we’ve been sailing smooth to the east since. The world is quiet and we haven’t seen another boat for months. The crew are getting weary at the peace. They’ve begun to mutter and whisper and sing in the dead of night. Some of them say we’ve sailed to the end of the world.

Where life has gone void and we have died.

I know I’m not dead. It’s as simple as the ideas from their heads of where you’ve gone. I still feel, so I still live. At first, they wondered aloud. The screamed and screeched until the whales below us bellowed. We’ve shot down the few birds that wondered our way, but meat had grown rare and I long for your song.

My mind fights sleep and my body fights movement. I’ve begun looking to the stars again, thinking of the Gods long lost of where you came from. I don’t wish anymore, that is futile but still my gaze follows the bright sweeping lights across our endless sky. I wonder if we are sharing the moon, if we are telling the stories of the same constellations, if we are both wishing for the love we had shared.

I miss you.

October 1st XXXX

We have seemed to travel to the cold side of our earth, frozen icebergs and pure white bears. We have not ventured on land, my crew and me all know the feel of forbidden land, untouched by our greedy humans hands and free of all corruption. I know you would have loved to see it, you beautiful eyes would have brighten like the lights that flow above our heads.

When I saw those marvelous lights, I cried. Hot tears against my face, warm in face of the icy wind you would have laughed at. You had always loved the biting cold in contrast to my love of the sweltering heat and when we had found happiness in those breezy sunny islands so very far west. The last time we were ever happy.

Before the voice, before the woman, before the cliffs. You had the biggest smile on your face as you dived off the ship so long ago, that I couldn’t even resent you for picking her over me. I had loved you with everything I was, and I love you even more now.

The stars remind me of your eyes, the shifting clear water of your smile, the contours of sunset mark your features. The sea wind as beautiful and smooth as your voice, the darkening deck that gets closer and closer to the shade of your hair.

I love you.

November 1st XXXX

We’ve had been frozen in this ocean for three days before I left to find our youngest little shiphand . I had the men venture to the ice nearest us to fish. We’ve had more luck here than the open ocean. A blizzard had swarmed us, the boy had hopefully made it back to ship before we were separated. I sit in a cave now, and I can hear the voices you whispered to me about. The sweet songs in the air, drawing you nearer and nearer and nearer-