I pick at my cuticles until the perimeter is completely raw and then when the pain no longer distracts me from the nervousness, I pull at the ends of my hair until the brown, curly strands decorate my fingers like ornaments on a christmas tree.

“Geneva Iris!”

The dean calls my name and my head is a swivel as I pause and look at all of the thousands of people in my graduating class. Then I look down at the six-inch stilletos that I thought made my calves look defined but instead might have been the dumbest idea I’ve ever made, despite my 4.0 gpa my whole entire college career. I stand on shaky legs and walk up the steps as the speaker continues on with all of my impressive achievements.

“Thank you” I give the dean a firm handshake, accept my diploma, and as I go to walk away, the black carpet runway lifts up at the edges and has my heels slipping on freshly polished wood. My knees cave in on each other and my body sways back and to the side in order to recalibrate itself. I look to the crowd and all the blood in my body rushes to my cheeks, pooling with red. I couldn’t stop the swell of tears gathering in my eyes even if I wanted to and as I become more aware that I’m frozen like a deer in headlights on the stage, the dean has still been calling out students names who are now lining up to walk on stage behind me.

I focus all too intensely on descending down the stairs, and once I make it onto ground level, I beeline straight for the door and to my car where I relive the moment over and over again until it is all I can think about.

A soft knock rattles my window and I crack it open to see the attractive guy who was in my bio lab, “congratulations Geneva!” a smile blossoms across his face, and I would be happy he’s talking to me had he not seen me almost wipe out on stage.

“For not falling up there? Or for graduating?”

The kid looks at me with a quizzical expression, “did you almost fall?” he asks.

A breath of relief makes its way out of me as I realize it may not had looked as serious as it felt, “no! I was just kidding” I nervously laugh and he laughs with me.

“So what career are you going to go into?”