Im sitting on the bus with my best friend. I look up from my phone having a sudden urge to look to my left. That’s when I realize that he is sitting right across from me. My heartbeat starts to quicken, and my mind suddenly stops working. I subconsciously start twisting that white and gold ring on my left hand, a habit I only do when I’m nervous, and look back over to my friend about to say something but for some reason I can’t form a coherent sentence. She’s sitting there on her phone scrolling through instagram oblivious to my actions. I don’t know why I feel this way or why I am acting like this. **I don’t like him**.

_The next song that turned on in my AirPods will now be the song that I play on loop for weeks, maybe even months, because when that song turned on it’s when I looked back over at him. _

I can’t help but feel a sudden rush of an emotion that I can’t place. Was it nervousness? Maybe I was just distracted. I can’t stop myself from looking over at him sitting across from me. Looking out the window, he runs a hand through his sandy blonde hair and watches as the trees pass quickly by. I bite down on my lip to stop myself from smiling but it’s no use. I look to my right to stop getting distracted and look out of the window me and my friend are sitting by. I’m smiling now and I even laugh about how crazy I probably look. My friend looks at me and chuckles, “A, why are you smiling?” I shrug awkwardly and we both break into laughter to the point where we are almost in tears. She smiles and then looks back down at her phone. I then look over to my left and he is now on his phone too. I grin and am now aware of how much I am spinning the ring on my finger. As I go to turn away he turns his head and looks over at me. We make eye contact for at least ten seconds, which is ten seconds too long, and I immediately begin to feel myself blush. My heartbeat quickens just as it had minutes before and I quickly turn the other way. What was wrong with me? I have never felt this way before. I thought I already knew what it was like to have a crush on someone but now I’m questioning that. Then that song that I never really liked in the first place and have no clue how it got on my playlist turns on again and I smile to myself. I have this thing where I associate songs with places or memories and now this song has its very own association.

_I am even listening to it now. _