POEM STARTER
‘I never was an early riser.’
Write a poem that begins with this line.
Night Owl
I never was an early riser
Preferring late nights
and long sleep-ins
I miss when the sun rose
When the birds would sing their melodious songs
I miss the feeling of that needed
Fresh cup of joe
By the afternoon
I was already rising to my flow
While everyone else
Was preparing for bed
I was anticipating
the night instead
The moon and stars,
Are old friends
Tranquility
Serenity
Fills the darken air
My favorite time
Is when there’s no rays from the sun
But the glow from the moonlight instead
This was great! I liked the rhythm of most of this poem, and the pacing was good! The only issue I have is with the fifth stanza (“The moon and stars, / Are old friends”). I like the words, but I think it’s kind of awkward. It seems like one line with an awkward break instead of two, especially since there’s no rhyme. I’d suggest making that either a one line stanza or adding more to it.
I also want to mention one other thing:
The word “missed” implies (to me, at least) that the narrator wishes they could experience those things, but it also seemed toward the end like they preferred the nighttime. If that’s the impression you meant to give, then great! If it’s not, I’d suggest maybe seeing if you could resolve that potential conflict. (But maybe get a second opinion first in case I’m just reading into it a little bit too much.)
I hope you’re have a good day/night, Luna! :)
