POEM STARTER
‘I never was an early riser.’
Write a poem that begins with this line.
POEM STARTER
‘I never was an early riser.’
Write a poem that begins with this line.
This was great! I liked the rhythm of most of this poem, and the pacing was good! The only issue I have is with the fifth stanza (“The moon and stars, / Are old friends”). I like the words, but I think it’s kind of awkward. It seems like one line with an awkward break instead of two, especially since there’s no rhyme. I’d suggest making that either a one line stanza or adding more to it.
I also want to mention one other thing:
The word “missed” implies (to me, at least) that the narrator wishes they could experience those things, but it also seemed toward the end like they preferred the nighttime. If that’s the impression you meant to give, then great! If it’s not, I’d suggest maybe seeing if you could resolve that potential conflict. (But maybe get a second opinion first in case I’m just reading into it a little bit too much.)
I hope you’re have a good day/night, Luna! :)