I look across the pool at my beautiful trophy girlfriend, as I frivolously take the corkscrew to a third bottle of Chateu Lafite Rothschild.

I don’t even like it, but I know it’s expensive and my ability to waste money seems to be an aphrodisiac to her, sitting there on a sun lounger.

Her regal little asshole chihuahua makes her look like a beautiful underdressed Bond villain, open robed with a bikini and sunglasses on.

I pour the first glass worth of wine into my swimming pool. There goes $500 but so what, it’s worth the feeling.

By now I know my teeth are shaded red like a satiated vampire, and that’s what I am in some way.