Nancy slams the apartment’s door as she enters. A far cry from her usually peppy persona.

“I think Fran wants to break up.”

I look up from my spot on the couch.

“Did she say that?”

“Through…implications.”

I roll my eyes, returning to the commercial break.

Nancy pauses the TV, causing me to groan.

“I’m not your personal love guru.”

“I’ll give you five bucks if you just shush and listen.”

“Deal, but I draw the line at sex talk…of course any line can be erased-”

“Stop being so morally gray and let me talk.”

I sigh, letting her continue.

“She hasn't come by the diner in weeks, and she’s been looking at me funny.”

“How so?”

Nancy squints her eyes, attempting her best Fran impression.

“Oh no” I fake a gasp.

“What is it?” Nancy furrows her brows.

“Absolutely nothing, that's what, this is just like Dottie all over again.”

“You’re right…obviously…” She chuckles, before tilting her head. “what do you mean?”

“You were totally convinced Dottie Elson was straight as an arrow.”

“In my defense, she kept trying to recruit me for cheerleading-”

“And then you guys sucked face all through senior year, which I still haven't fully recovered from by the way.”

“You’re saying I'm reading too much into it?”

“Sometimes signals are like…terms of agreement. They don't really matter, and don't need to be read.”

“You don't read terms of agreements?”

“Nobody does.”

-

Later that day I'm sitting in a corner booth waiting for my pizza, and Fran announces her break, sliding into the bench across from me.

“I think Nancy’s seeing someone else.”

I nearly spit out my soda.

“She’s been acting sort of weird all week and she won’t make eye contact, like at all.”

“She's always weird.”

“I mean, it's not like we’ve made it exclusive, I just thought we were on the same page.”

“Similiar pages, different books.”

“Has she talked to you?”

“Yes, but she told me not to tell you.”

“So why are you telling me?”

“Well first of all, I never got my five bucks,”

Fran looks confused.

“Secondly, I am not trustworthy, and Nancy knows this.”

“Well what did she say? Does she still like me? She hasn't invited me to the diner in a week.”

“Fran…” I say, taking a long sip of my cherry coke before continuing.

“Yes…?” She motions anxiously for me to continue.

“Do you read terms and agreements?”

“Obviously there's important information in-”

“I thought as much.” I interrupt her.

“What are your talking about…”

“Fran, you and Nancy are fine.”

“Really? She said that?”

“Through…implications.”

Fran isn't following, so I add:

“What you guys need is a visit from the communication fairy.”

“Oh…right, you're pretty insightful.”

“Some might say I'm a love guru.”

“Anyway, sorry for getting you involved…though I suspect Nancy already did that?”

“Keen observation.”

“Is there anything I can do to thank you?”

“How much is my pizza?”

“ 10.99, plus tip”

“That should cover it, when you talk to Nancy remind her I don't do business with swindlers.”

“Watch it, that's my girlfriend you're talking about.”