“I told you what would happen if you disobeyed me!”

My mom still had the wooden spoon in her hand, ready to hit my bum again if she had to. You see, a wooden spoon is a cooking instrument. But not for Portuguese mothers. For Portuguese mothers a wooden spoon is a corrective behaviour tool when children are naughty. Slippers would often do the trick too.

After that smack I learned not to go sneak around for sweets without her permission. She had warned me a few times, I have to admit.

“I’ll smack your ass with the spoon!” she would threaten me.

But I was 8 and thought I could fool her. I thought she wasn’t around when my hand started opening that drawer but next thing...

“Oooooouuuchhhh!”

So there I was, my hands rubbing my sore buttocks, hardly holding my tears. The spoon was right in front of my eyes.

“I’m sorry, mom. I will not do it again.”

“You better not. I hope I won’t have to use this on you again.”

She didn’t. I was a good boy after that. If there was anything the wooden spoon taught me was to be obedient. Never again would I disobey my mom.