I hate that im open to you still

Waiting on you still

For moments held firmly within you

Still hoping that you feel_

like you don’t need to hide yourself

Paranoid thoughts had your back arched

Curved in a stance

Hands pressed against mine

I felt it

and yes I hate it

Express your anger

Test your limits again

Tell them I am yours

Lock your eyes to their jugular, rip out their throats

I know, it’s not your desire

To hurt, make worse a given situation

But fuck forgiveness

All this

sorry for your loss shit

I hate this feeling

Let me scribble it through this page

Clean your dishes for you

Steal some weight from your plate

Tell me I’m yours

Sick of your messes

All your good intentions make me sick to my stomach

This perfect self you’ve perfected

Self preservation at it’s best

I feel nauseated

of what you’ve become

Im sick of you

I remember nights spent with your pen

Held us both till the AM

I was the blue inside the ink

The tap within the sink

But now your sink remains untapped

You said we’d meet again

You told me I was yours

I cried, poured my heart out

tried to rekindle a flame, un existing

No more lamp lights

or

Nights sparked with our thoughts

I think we’re through

You don’t need me

Say you do,

but you don’t mean it

I can see it in your eyes

Decided choices don’t have me in it

So I’ve blocked you