he was the star boy. i was a hail mary. 

he spat at me. he’ll need that mouthguard.

all he did was kick me. he put his skate blade

into the back of my neck.

that game didn’t happen. there were two

minutes on the clock

when it happened.

i was never scared of him. i am so terrified. i was never scared of him.

he always smelled like copper. i always smelled like ice.

he smells like antiseptic. i smell like copper.

i walked home. he walked home. i ran.

i walk home. isn’t that nice?

he won every fight. i let him win every fight.

did i? no.

he wants me to be a perfect picture.

i take my own damn pictures.

hey rally, he’d said.

you ought to stay behind the boards.

you don’t wanna lose any teeth

do you?

hey rally, he’d said.

you got a boyfriend yet?

be a shame to let all that

go to waste.

hey rally, he’d said.

you don’t belong here. make room

for the big boys.

hey henry, i say.

in this locker room

you call me captain. 

i am not your fucking hail mary.