A Matter Of Safety
I heard her approaching through the trees. She was never any good at sneaking. With each step that brought her closer to me, a piece of my heart tore away from itself. Perhaps by the time she’d gone, there would be nothing left of it.
When she appeared, the summer breeze itself was as pleased as I to see her. It swirled happily around her, billowing her cloak and pressing her skirts to her legs so I could see the outline of her long thighs. Her dark hair danced across her face. She batted it away.
I felt the familiar stirrings in my chest at the sight of her smile, the one that lit up her whole face. The one she reserved for the sight of me.
“Ye were always good at being early.” She stepped fully into the clearing, the light from the moon caressing every angle of her pale face.
I must remember her just like this.
“I came right here to wait for ye since ye wouldna let me go wi’ ye to see yer sister.” I didn’t mean to be cross with her, but it was time we two would never get back.
She looked at me for a long time, finally reaching her hand to clasp mine. “How am I supposed to leave you?” she whispered tightly.
“How am I supposed to let you go?” She took my hand, placing it on her belly where our secret grew. Pressing my forehead to hers, I let out a ragged sigh, my lungs drowning in grief and anger. “Damn yer sister!” Her head snapped up, horrified. “The other one,” I clarified. “Damn her and this war she started. She’s robbing us of our lives, our future.”
She placed a finger to my lips, corking my anger. “We’ve been through all this, Alistair. It’s no’ only us anymore, and that’s why I must go. It’s no use circling around the unfairness of it. It’ll only make the leaving harder.”
She was right, of course. She always was. If I ever told her as much, though, she’d never let a day go by without reminding me.
But there would be no more days with her. I swallowed the thought, the acid of it scorching my throat. Grabbing her hands to distract from the pain, I talked of concrete things, of plans of action and what she could expect. She knew all of it but listened quietly, allowing me to anchor myself in details.
“When ye leave Tìr na h-Óige, ye’ll find a house. Some Druids live there. Ye’ll be safe there until he comes for ye.” Absently, I rubbed my thumb over the ring that bound us.
With a sharp gasp, she let go of my hand, and slowly took off the ring. The pain in her eyes matched the blow to my gut.
“But...it’s yours, Caitriona. It always has been.”
A tear slipped from her crystal blue eyes. “I feel like I’m handing ye back my heart, but I shouldna keep it if I’m to be safe.”
My cheeks flamed with anger - never at her - and I clenched my hands into fists. “No,” I breathed through flared nostrils. “I willna take it. I told ye when I put it on ye that I’d only do it once. You’ll be safe enough wi’out makin’ me break my oath.” Her hand dropped to her side, the ring still clutched in her fingers. “If ye willna wear it anymore, give it to the bairn, then.”
“Whether I wear this ring or no, I still love ye.” The hardness in her voice caught my attention, and I met her blue gaze. “But we’ve asked him to give up his life for my protection, to hide me in his human world. He willna ever have my heart, but he deserves as much of the rest of me as I can give. I owe him that much.”
I nodded, conceding. She would never love him; I knew that in my very soul. Just as I knew he would take care of her in my place. Still, though, she placed the ring inside her cloak, and the flame of hope lit in my belly.
Her beautiful eyes were filled with words she didn’t have time to speak. Mine were just behind my lips. I kissed her so she could feel them.
“I love you,” she cried, disappearing into a wall of light.
“I love you, too,” I whispered to the empty forest.