Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

March 4, 2023

Well it’s my 40th Birthday!

I should be living my best life right now,

but instead, Im reeling from the additional disturbing news I just received from my Oncologist. One of my worst fears is now a reality….my terminal cancer is aggressive and no longer responding to the chemotherapy treatments! As you know I have been receiving the treatment for 3 months. And for those 3 months I have been so sick due to the awful side effects from the treatments.

Dear Diary, this is a difficult fight. But, I vowed to fight until the end. I am trying to put on a strong and optimistic exterior for my family.

But I am anything but a strong. No I am actually really weak and weary. I am also afraid of the unknown. I am a nervous wreck on the inside, scared, and now feeling hopeless.

Dear Diary, As you know My baby girl who is eighteen and a senior and will be graduating In June. I pray I can see her walk across that stage to receive her diploma. She needs me to help her get settled into college. My twenty year old son needs me, because he has joined the air force and he needs me to pray with him every day, to keep him safe from harm and danger. And my husband needs me because I’m his best friend and we’ve been married so long. So many people need me and I have so much work to do… But the pain …sometimes the pain is becoming quite debilitating.

Dear Diary, I know the five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I truly believe I am in the fourth stage because with the news that I received today, it has caused me to be very depressed…

I don’t really even know how I can go on… but I must…for my family.

Dear Diary, You know my faith is strong. I am learning, and depending on my Heavenly Father to see me through this devastating situation. Because I know him to be a SuperNatural Healer. And I know the Word says that my “Heavenly Father is exceedingly and abundantly above all that we could ever hope, ask or think according to the powers that work in us.” So Lord I am trusting and believing on You to see me through.

I also know that the Word says that “Yea though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you ( Heavenly Father) would be right there with us “ So Lord I Thank You!

So Father please take my hand and if it is your will, I am asking for a supernatural miracle because I know Heavenly Father you are also

a Miracle Worker!

Thank you, Dear Diary for allowing me to vent… And as always, I will keep you posted…


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