I remember the laughter filling the playground as he pushed me again, my legs swinging up and down. “Higher, higher!” I remember saying. He gave me one last push and ran to the swing next to me, kicking himself forward, and we flew through the air together. We laughed, yelled and grinned until our cheeks hurt. I remeber getting off the swing and pulling a keychain off my backpack, sliding it over his finger like a ring with my tiny, chubby fingers. Holding our pinky fingers out, giggling as our fingers intertwined and I said “I promise to be with you forever and ever!” His smile brightening the playground as he said “And I promise to never leave YOU! And become old with you like my mommy and daddy!”

But that was twenty years ago. And he had broken his promise. I stare at the keychain in my hand, tears rolling down my cheeks, landing on the rusted metal. I hold the keychain to my chest, closing my eyes and holding my chin up to the sky. “I miss you, Jase,” I whisper, choking back a sob.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise.” My hand shakes as I carefully place the keychain on the cold, gray tomb. “I’m sorry Jase,” I whisper. The tears come spilling out, sobs racking my body and I clutch the cold stone, imaging it as Jase. Imaging his smile. His warm touch. I scream and sob and choke, yelling for someone, something to fix this. To bring him back. To bring me back my Jase. But he was gone. Buried six feet below my gasping tears.