I’m dead

How is a question I can’t seem to answer.

I wander between the land of the living and dead, searching for something that I can’t seem to put into words.

An abstract feeling of warmth in my heart.

Gentle hands.

A dimpled smile.

A voice following me like a moth to a flame amidst the valleys of undead

_“Come back to me, my love” _

_Memories of a young man sipping on coffee beneath the sunlight of a new dawn. _

_Pulling me into a dance in an empty living room as a vinyl record skips. _

_Holding me after a tearstained nightmare in the dead of night. _

“I want to,” I whisper, feeling myself begin to fall deeper into the sea of memories. “But I don’t know how.”

_“Come _

_ back _

_ to _

_ me”_

Suddenly, I’m no longer underwater, feet planted against lush grass beneath me. A soft gust of breeze ruffles my hair, leaving me confused for a moment until I see—

Lavenders.

They stud the fields with their soft purple hues, blending with the greenery like oil paint. A setting sun rests on the horizon beyond, illuminating a willow tree about a mile away.

_Lavender_

_Lavender_

_Lavender_

The name reverberates through my mind. His voice calls it out to me through my memories, faraway.

Beyond, under the lazily waving branches of the tree, his frame is outlined by a faint golden sheen, a smile lining his lips.

“Lavender,” He murmurs, a tear gliding down his cheek.

In that sliver of a moment, a pin drops in my mind, sending a wallowing storm of memories inward.

I remember.

“Lucas,” My throat aches. In an instant, I’m bolting towards him, letting my arms find their way around his waist, face buried into his chest.

“I remember,” I sob. “I remember.”

There was a car accident. A funeral. Years on end alone and undeniably empty.

“I’m here now,” His words linger around for a moment, until all that’s left is the closed space between us, and the now starry sky above.