WRITING OBSTACLE
Describe the feeling of somberness without using closely related synonyms such as stern, depressed, or sad.
Try to use a variety of metaphorical devices to create an image that emits a sense of somberness.
WRITING OBSTACLE
Describe the feeling of somberness without using closely related synonyms such as stern, depressed, or sad.
Try to use a variety of metaphorical devices to create an image that emits a sense of somberness.
You have some very powerful metaphors in this! A heart so heavy is weighs the body down 👍🏼, and punching through the ground to get out the other side (ooh double meaning)👌🏼
However, some of the powerful emotion got a little lost for me without proper use of punctuation and tenses. It didn’t take away the meaning of your words, but it just threw the flow off a bit so it didn’t feel as comfortable to read, and I spent too much time tripping over oddly-placed commas instead of enjoying the scene. Really simple things to fix that could make this read much smoother! 😁