Why does a monster need an umbrella? How can rain harm him? It’s a bit ridiculous when you think about it really, but here he is, grinning like an obsequious madman, huddled under a bumbershoot.

Perhaps he’s trying to look less threatening. “Hi, don’t mind me. I’m just like you—don’t like getting wet.” And then when you get closer, he’ll pounce, tearing your skin with his claws. Or conversely, maybe he really is harmless and only wants to share his umbrella. It’s a puzzle.

You could just walk away, scurry off like a scared little mouse, but you’re already so close to him. What to do? Boldness seems like the right approach.

“Evening,” you say, nodding your head as you approach him. You wish you had an umbrella too, but all you have is a hoodie and it’s not really doing the job. You shiver involuntarily.

“You’re getting wet. Could you use this?” He holds the umbrella out to you. How weird is this? His voice sounds like it hasn’t been used for awhile—sort of dry and creaky.

“Umm, no thanks. I’m fine.” The rain pouring off my head and shoulders tells a different story. Now I feel trapped in a conversation I never wanted to start. But wait—I guess I actually did start it, by greeting him. Why had I spoken? Why hadn’t I just kept on going without speaking?

“Ah, now you understand,” he chuckled. That chuckle was the most ghastly sound I ever heard, like a cross between a dentist’s drill and a cat in heat. “You approached me.” He thrust the umbrella into my hand. “Enjoy,” he cackled as he almost skipped away, his dark coat flapping in his haste to leave.

“Wait, what, why?” I stammered. I tried to throw the umbrella after him. I didn’t want anything that belonged to this freak. But something was wrong. I couldn’t get my hands off the umbrella handle. I pulled and tugged— nothing. It must have some sort of glue or something, I thought. This is a madman’s idea of a sick joke.

Okay, I thought to myself. Take it day. At least this will keep me dry until I get home. Then I can figure out how to get my hands unstuck. No need to freak out.

I started walking towards home, feeling better. I actually had a smile on my face now that rain wasn’t pouring down on my head. Someone approached me going the opposite way and I nodded in a friendly manner.

The person looked at me, gasped, and almost ran past me. What was the deal with meeting weirdos tonight? Honestly, you’d think he’d seen a ghost.

I happened to glance to my right, into a store window. The street light illuminated my reflection. I stopped, stunned by what I saw. It wasn’t me, it couldn’t be me.

Wildly I turned around. Was the umbrella man behind me, playing tricks? But I was alone. I slowly turned back. There was no mistake. I was now the umbrella man. My white face grinned back at me. My fate was clear.

I began walking unsteadily down the street, the wind and rain whip my coat about me. There was no one else on the street right now, but there would be. There would be.