You wake up and can’t feel your legs. Then you look down. You furrow your eyebrows.

“This isn’t right’ you think in confusion.

Then you take in a deep breath. You catch the smell of the ocean. The tang of sea salt and the smell of seaweed on the rock.

‘Hang on! What am I doing on a ruddy rock? This is ridiculous!’ Then your mind drifts back to the night before.

Your fiancée had dumped you for your best friend. It turned out she’d only gone with you to get to him. You found this out when you got home from work.

The message read …..

I wish I could say I’m sorry but I’m really not. I’ve always loved your bestie more than you. But I’ve never been able to get near him. Thanks to you I could and …. the rest is history. Ps I sold the engagement ring on Ebay!

You were crushed and found yourself in a bar. Four pints in and beginning to feel a little rough, you turned to your right. While trying very hard not to fall off the bar stool, a figure caught your eye.

He looked at you and said, “Whatever your problem is I can fix it! You’ll get away from everything. You’ll never be bothered again.”

Without thinking this through you shouted “YES” The man was startled. “I don’t give a damn about consequences. Do it. DO. IT. NOW.”

The man mumbled something and you drifted off in to slumber. Then you woke up on your rock.

You look down again you see a beautiful tail with rainbow coloured scales.

“THIS IS SO COOL. HEY WORLD LOOK AT ME. IM A MERMAN!”

Of course no one hears you.

Meanwhile, hanging off a small rock not too far away …….

A figure hears you and thinks, “Oh no. Another one. I’d better collect him, or he’ll be above all night!”

The figure moves towards you and pulls your tail gently.

As you slip under the water a rousing song can be heard.

“Under the sea, under the sea.

Darling it’s better, down where it’s wetter.

Take it from me.”

Sebastian would be so proud

Your voice slowly fades in to the coastal winds.