On a morning like any other, I got my freshly brewed coffee and walked outside to the porch where the newspaper delivery boy had just delivered the daily paper. I picked it up, the warmth of the freshly printed paper was warming to the heart, I sat down on the old porch swing and as I began to drink, a headline caught my eye. “Man, Theodor Peet is claimed as the ‘strangest man alive’. Why will shock you.” The newspaper read, now I am the only Theodor Peet in this little town, so why is my name in the paper? As I read more it only made less sense, “Man, Theodor J. Peet aged 68 has been named the strangest man alive because he talks to animals.”

“Talk to animals?” Chuckling, I sat my coffee down on the side table,

“He has been seen talking to rabbits, cats, dogs, and yes, even squirrels!” The paper read, talk to squirrels? I thought laughing.

The next day the paper sat on the porch in its usual spot. As I picked it up, I was excited to see if another headline about me showed up, and there it was ok the front page, “Man, Theodore J. Peet talks to animals at the Zoo!” The newspaper read, I began wheezing, been to the zoo? I thought, never in my life had I been there. As I read on it only got better:

“Seen talk to the elephant ‘Josh’ and to the lion ‘Alex’!”

“Wow, the paper says a lot of crazy stuff,” I muttered as I read,

The next day after that was Saturday, I got my paper and yet again, there was another headline about me. “Man, Theodore J. Peet, talks to a baby cat!” Now this one was interesting, I didn’t even own a cat.

“Now this may seem like an adorable story, but the cat got mad at whatever he may have said and walked away.” What is this, I though laughing.

“Truly hilarious” I said wheezing.

Now today is Sunday, and today my friends came and visited me, so I sat down and excitedly read the paper, but there was no headlines about me.

“Strange,” I muttered, but shrugged it off, at least I got a few days of being in the spotlight.

“Theo!” Kat yelled from the bottom of the porch,

“Hey Theo!” Alex and Josh said in unison.

“Oh hello, would you guys like to have a picnic today?” I said, they all nodded, I got the picnic supplies and walked away with them. As we approached the park we got strange looks, as we ate our lunch a little boy came up to us and just stared for a moment,

“Sir?” He asked, “ why do you have a cat, lion, and a elephant?” He asked.

“Huh? What do you mean?”