I put my hand on my wrist, feeling for my pulse. It reminded me of a hummingbird’s, almost beating faster than I could count. Ok, breathing exercises. I breathed in a count of 4, held a count of 4, released my breath with a count of 4. Wow, was this deep breathing drying out my throat? I made a move to my water bottle, then hesitated. I had already had a few bottles of water, and I didn’t want to have to do a peepee dance just to make it through my speech. I decided I would wait to drink it until right before the speech, delaying any potential embarrassment as much as possible.

The crowd applauded, and I looked up. I saw the announcer gesturing for me to come up on stage. I came up, drinking my last gulp of water. I look out at the crowd and spit out my water, choking on it. Some uncomfortable laughter and concerned murmuring followed as the announcer came up to check on me.

I couldn’t hear her, though. My eyes were focused on the one person, the only person who could absolutely ruin any moment. She’d had me wrapped around her finger for years, made me change who I was before breaking my heart. She was the only person who could strike me with such fear.

Her name: Regina. George.