The party was in full swing. I was turning fifty when my friends decided to throw me a big birthday party at the local supper club. There was music and plenty of drinks, but I hadn’t seen the birthday cake yet.

“Hey Bob, what’s a birthday party without a birthday cake?” in a somewhat slurred voice, “Oh there will be a cake Matt. We are just putting some final touches on things.” I smiled at that thinking _what did these guys do now? _

I didn’t have to wait long because all the sudden I saw one of those large birthday cakes that you see in the movies being rolled out. I hope these guys didn’t get me a stripper. Delores would be so pissed if she knew I had a stripper. I was lucky she let me go out tonight for my birthday with the guys, she never did trust Bob…even though he was my best friend.

Bob gestured for me to come over as he staggered over to the cake and then made an announcement. “Everybody may I have your attention. This is my best friend Matt and since it is your fiftieth birthday we thought we would get you something special.” he said as bowed and waved his hand in the air like a circus master.

I stood and smiled and waited for the show to begin, but nothing happened. Mike stood staring at the cake and again announced that it was something special, but still nothing. A look came over his face of frustration and he walked over and knocked on the cake and said, “It’s time, come out.” All the sudden there was some movement in the cake and the top opened up, but it wasn’t a stripper, it was something far worse, a clown.

“Hey there gentleman, I’m here to entertain.” The clown said in a growling voice that matched his outfit. He had red hair in an afro with white make up and dark circles around his eyes. His face was painted on crooked like The Joker in Batman. His outfit was red and black with big black boots to complete the ensemble.

Everyone stood in complete shock and didn’t move until they saw the machete pulled out from inside the cake, and then everyone started to scatter. Running for the exits only to find out that they had been locked from the outside by someone, he must have had an accomplice.

The clown jumped down from the cake and began swinging and hacking at people. Blood began to fly all around. People began to slip and slide as the floor became a crimson ice-skating rink. A group of guys tried to tackle him, but he seemed to have superhuman strength and just tossed them aside.

Bob was standing right in front of me and turned around with a huge smile on his face and said “don’t worry Matt, he won’t hurt you. This is my gift to you.”, “What do you mean a gift for me? Why would you think I would want this?”. Bob began to laugh and in between chuckles said “I know you wanted a promotion, but these assholes were in front of you. You were never going to be promoted if they were here.”

That’s when I looked around and noticed that he was right. All of these guys were my competition for the supervisor position that I was applying for…” Bob you are one sick son of a bitch.”, “I know.” he said and looked around one more time before looking at me and saying, “Happy birthday buddy.”