We could see the glow of the bonfire from the parking lot. Mia had talked me into coming by being relentless. She’d texted me all day that we could just stay for a few minutes, she would drive, there would be drinks, everyone was going to be there, wouldn’t it be nice to see everyone, and on and on. She had always been the social counterpart to my introversion. She jumped out practically vibrating with anticipation. The smell of the smoke drifted up to us and became stronger as we crested the sand bank. She grabbed my hand pulling me forward skipping down the stairs. I laughed nearly tripping along behind her. We hit the sand and she let go, “I’m gonna go find some people, but don’t be such a wall flower. We’re outside, there’s no walls okay?” She ran off, gone around the far side of the bonfire before I could ask her to wait. I stood there looking around for a cooler. I needed something to take the edge off. I hadn’t kept in touch with anyone really. When everything blew up at our high school grad party last year, I’d decided to just start over. The only reason I still talked to Mia was because she was too persistent. Finally I found the cooler sitting at the edge of the fires glow off to the right. Grabbing a drink I popped it open and took a long pull. It was cold and fruity, not my usual kind of alcohol, but it was better than nothing. Walking through the groups of my old peers, a lot of people waved or smiled, but there was no one I felt like I needed to catch up with. I kept an eye out for Mia but she was probably moving faster than I could look for her. I turned towards the parking lot thinking I’d sit on the steps that led up the sand bank, but I froze. Zane stood with his friends laughing about something I couldn’t hear. Mia had said everyone would be here, but I guess I didn’t realize she really meant it. I stared at him, he was stronger than the last I’d seen him. He’d gotten a scholarship for hockey to NC State and clearly their fitness regiment was a step up. My stomach exploded with butterflies and I cursed myself for it. More than a year had passed of me putting distance between myself and what happened and I still reacted this way to seeing him. I’d blocked him on everything and even blocked his friends. I had completely separated myself from him and had been telling myself I was over it, but— He looked up and my heart stopped. When he smiled at me I panicked and turned away walking towards the water. I stepped out of my flip flops letting the water brush the tips of my toes. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and held it breathing out slowly through my nose, but I could feel him approaching. “Hey, I didn’t think you’d be here…” I scoffed crossing my arms over my chest and turning towards him. “I wasn’t planning on it but, Mia made me.” “Mia? You’re still friends with her?” He looked disgusted. “Yes I’m still friends with my best friend who you tried to take advantage of and cheat on me with on the night of graduation.” “That’s not what happened.” He stepped towards me so I stepped back not wanting him any closer than he already was. “It’s not? That’s sure as hell what it looked like that night.” I watched the muscle in his jaw flex and he shoved his hands in his pockets. “That’s what you’ve believed this whole time? You think I would do that?” I blinked staring at him, he sounded sincere, but I know what I saw. “You were on top of her in my bedroom holding her hands down above her head! Mia slept at my place that night and didn’t remember a thing the next morning.” “Jazz, that was the only way I could get her to keep her hands off me.” I cringed at the sound of my old nickname, “she was barely conscious Zane.” “Yeah cause the alcohol was finally getting to her. I swear I never did anything or wanted to do anything other than make her leave me alone.” I took a deep breath tasting the salt in the air and hearing a wave crash behind me. I let it ground me. “Why would she be hitting on you? We were dating and she’s my best friend.” “She had always hit on me. That’s why I never wanted to go anywhere that she would be. I didn’t want to ruin your friendship with her, but I didn’t want to give her any opportunities either.” I watched his blue eyes looking for a lie or an exaggeration, but Zane had never lied to me and that didn’t seem different now. He looked at ease but serious, standing straight and his sandy hair messed by the wind. Mia walked up looking tense and concerned. “Hey what’s going on?” Zane turned to her, “You fucking bitch, you never told her the truth?” She crossed her arms over her chest looking defensive, her green eyes refusing to meet his or mine. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but Jasmine probably doesn’t want to be talking to you.” I stepped towards her making her look at me, “Did you have a thing for Zane when I was with him.” She rolled her eyes and took a step back giving herself space. “I would never do that to you Jazz.” I stared at her, but she looked back at Zane and then towards the group of people nearest who had begun glancing in our direction. The realization that she was lying made a physical blow, my chest began to ache. “I should have seen it…” I turned walking down the beach but heard Mia behind me yelling at Zane, “why would you go dredging all that up?! It’s ancient history.” “Because she should know the truth.” His voice sounded closer to my back, he was following me. “Jazz let me take you home.” “Leave me alone Zane.” I started running down the beach wanting space, needing it. Far enough away that I was alone in the dark I sat down and cried. I had cut ties with everyone except the one person I should have. I stayed put for hours watching people leave and the fire die. When it was no more than a few glowing embers I walked back hoping to be able to walk home in peace. Zane sat on the steps up the sand bank, his head bowed. He was coated in sand, his blue T-shirt and black shorts rumpled. The sound of my footsteps made him look up, his eyes were red rimmed and he looked exhausted. “It’s too far to walk home… just let me drive you.” I shrugged and he stood walking up the steps. We slid into his beat up sedan. It was the same in almost every way. A new NC State sticker on the dash. I looked to my right and found my name still branded on the inside of the door in silver sharpie. “You didn’t clean it off?” He shrugged and pulled out of the deserted lot. The drive to my parents was pretty much a straight shot north and then a right on beach view road. It was only about 5 miles, but he was right, it would have been a long walk. “You should have told me what was happening.” His right hand rested on the wheel and his left rubbed at his eyes. “She was your best friend… I didn’t want to ruin your friendship.” “A friend wouldn’t hit on my boyfriend behind my back. I would have been sad for a while but ultimately better off.” “I was telling myself it wasn’t a big deal. But then you blocked me and I found out you went on vacation. I knew you got the wrong idea and I wanted to talk to you, but you never came back.” “I went to stay with my aunt for the summer… I didn’t want to be here.” “I kept looking for a way to talk to you, but you kept blocking everyone and I just…” “I ran away… I should have let you talk. You never gave me a reason to think you would do something like that. When I walked in on you and her, I assumed the worst.” “I thought you had cut us both out. I didn’t realize you were still friends with her.” He turned onto my street and pulled into the driveway. “Thanks for the ride… and for waiting.” “Always.” I climbed out closing the door behind me and moving to head inside but Zane got out too. I stopped and looked his way as he jogged up to me, “Can we maybe catch up? Doesn’t have to be now, but I just… I want to see you again.” Taking a deep breath I nodded feeling those stupid butterflies come to life in my stomach. “Unblock my number and shoot me a text whenever. I’m working for my dad at the hardware store so I’m pretty free.” “How do you know I still have it?” “I didn’t.” He smirked and backed away leaving me blushing like an idiot in front of my house. I watched him drive off before going inside to take a shower before I crashed in bed. I fell asleep faster than I had in the last year.